Can I raise an intuitive eater if I’ve never been one? {with Leslie Schilling}


Are you worried about your ability to raise a normal eater, when maybe you’ve never been one yourself? Do you worry about raising children in larger bodies because you fear they will live a life filled with eating issues and judgment? Listen now for some suggestions for navigating this difficult part of the food peace journey.

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This episode is brought to you by my PCOS summer series: Empowering Your PCOS Journey. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how. This series and our Facebook group will be with you every step of the way.

Episode’s Key Points:

  • Being in a larger body in this world is HARD. From clothing choices to fitting in chairs, fat bodies face oppression EVERY day.
  • It IS possible to prepare children for this fatphobic world by telling them that you love them at ANY size.
  • Leslie Schilling joins to talk solutions!
  • Our culture is one of diet culture, and so it’s not uncommon to have these fears when thinking about having children.
  • Understanding our own development around food is a HUGE step in learning how to raise children with a healthy relationship with food.
  • Sometimes we have to recognize that the way we were raised was super disordered!
  • Use your nutrition intuition.
  • Be ASSERTIVE about the way you raise your children.
  • Remember that you are your child’s protector! It’s a parent’s responsibility to teach body peace, rather than body hate, and to stand up against other adults who perpetuate body shame.
  • Honesty builds bridges.
  • It’s not our job to change other people’s minds, but it IS our job to be assertive about our own safe spaces.
  • Values upheld by the family help a child to be self-protective.
  • Make sure your kid knows that THEY are in charge of their own body.
  • Kids have to be able to FAIL. As long as they have a safe home to come back to, we can’t protect them from all of diet culture all of the time
  • Baby-led weaning: use family food to wean kids off of the bottle.
  • We are born as experts of our own body!

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Thank you for listening to the Love, Food series.

I’m a closet eater. And, so ashamed.

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Have you ever been someone who sneak eats, or eats other people’s food as a way to disguise your own food patterns? Do you identify as a binge eater who has battled the restrict-binge cycle your whole life? Does food feel like a vice, rather than a wonderful tool of connection and nourishment? Listen now for some solutions to these challenges.

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Episode’s Key Points:

  • Around age five or six, all children go through “Adiposity Rebound.” This usually means that developmentally, children will gain weight to prepare for growth in the next few years. Our bodies as kids change so drastically all the time!
  • We live in a fat phobic society!! It’s a disgusting reality, but we live in a culture that is not accepting of larger bodies.
  • If an adolescent in your life comes to you and says they want to lose weight, go on a diet, or start an exercise regimen, DO NOT offer to go on it with them! This sends the message that their body needs fixing. Instead, let them know that you will love them no matter what, unconditionally.
  • Every BINGE starts with RESTRICTION!!
  • There are so many people who understand this struggle, feel shame around their eating behaviors, and experience the tug of war of bingeing and restricting.
  • Stop the food fight and take a rest!
  • Dieting and restriction are the SAME THINGS!!
  • The more we restrict and the more we sit in shame, the more we binge.
  • There is a function of binge eating disorder! Bingeing can help us to disconnect from discomfort.
  • Recovery from binge eating disorder takes, on average, six to seven years. Do so with the help of an eating disorder dietitian and a whole team of experts!
  • Eating disorders are complicated because they include elements of mental health along with cultural issues of size acceptance.
  • We live in a world that hasn’t recovered from its own eating disorder yet!!
  • Counseling and therapy are KEY elements to recovery!
  • Work with a counselor and a dietitian together to help you along your journey and speed up your recovery process.
  • You’re worth recovery!!
  • Shame is a HUGE weight on our shoulders… remove it with the help of professionals!
  • You CAN find balance and food peace!!

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Thank you for listening to the Love, Food series. Give me feedback via Twitter @EatingPermitRD.

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This episode is sponsored by my friends at Green Mountain at Fox Run.

Binge & Emotional Eating Weekend Intensive

The Women’s Center for Binge & Emotional Eating is offering its foundational one-week Pathway™ program in an intensive weekend format. Participants will explore personal barriers and how to counter them with evidence-based strategies to prevent eating in response to stress and emotions. Dates are scheduled monthly throughout 2017 although capacity is limited, so visit https://goo.gl/xFh2up  for more information.

There’s only ONE premier retreat for women who struggle with eating and weight.

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Green Mountain at Fox Run’s Binge Eating White Paper – Myths, Truths and Treatments

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The Love Food Podcast Episode 47

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Have you worked really hard to stop hating your body but feel like your family keeps holding you back? Do you find yourself dealing with the food police within your own family, even after you’ve begun to make peace with food yourself? Do you have family that encourages fat shaming and diet culture, even when you feel like you’re doing your best to rid yourself of the mindset?? Listen now as Julie tackles this family-oriented topic and introduces some solutions.

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Key Points:

  • What is the experience of finding peace with food while family members surrounding us stay stuck in the diet mentality?
  • Fat shaming can come from people we care about!
  • Setting our own boundaries is SUPER important in trying to protect your own recovery.
  • The world that we live in isn’t one of body-positivity, HAES, and size acceptance. This means that when we pursue recovery, we are going against the vast majority of society, and sometimes that means our families. This makes the work harder to do, but it is that much more important!
  • Going against family dynamics is super hard, and when we actively follow our own path, it is common to feel pressure to go with the flow and back off of our own personal work in order to appease the family.
  • When we RECOGNIZE any emotion we are having, it automatically diffuses it and breaks its power.
  • How to beat body comparison: recognize the emotion, remove its power, and counteract with readily available responses of self-compassion.
  • How do we connect with our self-compassion?? We must actively find ways to support self-compassion for the moments in which we feel vulnerable.
  • Remember, our feelings and experiences are not going to last forever!!
  • Have some ready-made comebacks to assert your recovery, either by facing it head on or by changing the subject.
  • Surviving the Holidays and National Diet Month : #SoAnyway
  • How do we empower ourselves to connect to peace and health and feeling comfortable in our own skin?
  • When we provide new visuals for ourselves that are more size-diverse, it provides another option for our brains to think that OTHER kinds of bodies are beautiful too!
  • IT’S NOT OUR JOB TO FIX OUR FAMILY!
  • We should spend our energy on keeping ourselves safe, setting our own boundaries, and focusing on ensuring that we are providing the best modeling for our own family in terms of having a healthy relationship with food.
  • Embrace self-compassion, boundaries, and self-care.

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Thank you for listening to the Love, Food series. Give me feedback via Twitter @EatingPermitRD.

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This episode is sponsored by my friends at Green Mountain at Fox Run.
A special promotion for Love Food listeners:
Immerse yourself in a practice of mindfulness. Join Green Mountain at Fox Run for “Mindfulness for Women Who Struggle With Food and Body – A Meditative Retreat”, designed to help you reduce stress, eat well, move joyfully, and guide the way toward ending eating and food struggles. For dates and registration information, please visit

www.fitwoman.com/weight-loss-program-reinvented/2017-mindfulness-weekend/.

The Women’s Center for Binge and Emotional Eating at Green Mountain at Fox Run is the only clinical program in the nation solely for women suffering with binge & emotional eating. Their insurance-eligible program is backed by over 40 years of experience and is staffed by licensed clinicians. Their program has created life-altering changes by helping women to manage emotional overeating through the practice of mindfulness. For more information, visit www.fitwoman.com/binge.

Dear Oprah

DearOprahDear Oprah,

Why did you invest in that diet company? I just heard the news about you buying 10% stock. You have given me so much that has brought me meaning and self acceptance. I’m finding a disconnect between the value you’ve brought to me and your public and the message you’re now sending with this investment.

In this moment, I want to give you the one thing I have:

Compassion for body hate.

Ever since you started Super Soul Sunday, I have felt more connected to my religion, my family, and myself. Your experts, facilitated by your poignant questions, deliver sound bites like no other. I will keep both Thich Nhat Hanh (video link here) and Brené Brown (video link here) episodes on my DVR for eternity. These episodes felt like they were written just for me and my struggles with suffering and vulnerability. I am forever grateful.

I value connection and reconnection and I think you do too. Valuing connection provides passion for my work. I help reconnect men and women to their body’s innate wisdom for eating decisions. This provides health, self-respect, and positive body image.

The alternative eating advice focuses on diets and all its money-making yet powerful chaos. These diet plans are the great disconnectors and source of disease and body hate.

Why did you invest in that diet company?

I appreciate your business skills and can see where investing in this business appears to be a wise money making move. The diet industry does make $60 billion from us each year. This venture will help you make more money.

But will it help us connect to our spirit? our family? ourselves?

I learned you chose this investment because your friend has been “successful” with using its weight loss system. A quick Google search let me know she started the system September 14, 2015; that’s 38 days from when I am writing this post.

Although her weight is down, please consider an alternative measure of success that looks at least two years out. Diets promise weight loss. Yet I challenge you to find one weight loss study with a low drop-out rate and weight maintenance lasting for more than two years. Most research stops by one year, because after that, weight starts to be regained. Instead of calling it the “weight loss industry”, we need to rename it the “weight cycling industry”. My frustration: we give this industry our hard-earned money and it doesn’t even work.

Do you know how many people are able to keep the weight off after following a diet? Looking at the 2 to 5 year mark, it is 3 to 5%.

Many people think this particular weight-loss company is not a diet. It’s a part of their tagline, so it’s true, right? Here’s a definition of a weight-loss diet that research has already proven does not work long term: a product that focuses on weight loss or tells you to eat according to their rules instead of according to your hunger and fullness.

No matter how we spin it, this weight-loss company counts points based on an arbitrary system that one must follow instead of hunger and fullness in order to succeed. Yes, hunger and fullness are discussed. Yet, not trusted.

Do you remember its hunger monster from years ago?

This diet company was teaching body mistrust and disconnection. Hunger was set up as a maneuverable enemy. Silly, really, because hunger is just a biological process communicating a physiological need. It would be like tricking yourself to not need to urinate. (You know that doesn’t work!) You can’t trick hunger.

When you try to deprive yourself, the body finds ways to communicate the missed opportunity. You end up thinking, obsessing, and dreaming about food and, often times, bingeing.

And bingeing leads to weight gain.

You know something the diet company didn’t tell you? The more one diets, the higher his or her weight. Dieting predicts weight gain. Here’s a quick video by Evelyn Tribole, RD, with research behind these statements.

A beautiful part of hunger: it doesn’t lie. When you experience physical hunger, your body needs food. Hunger speaks for primal needs, not frivolous wants. Don’t run from, meddle with, or try to trick hunger. It doesn’t go away, only subsides for a bit.

Manipulating hunger is the main reason a person experiences a binge. Every binge starts with not eating enough earlier in the day.

When this happens, it isn’t the food’s fault. It is just your body trying to save you.

Oprah, I am concerned how your investment will further perpetuate a culture stuck in self distrust and body hate.

You have immense influence on generations, and choosing to invest in The Body Positive or The Association of Size Diversity and Health or The Binge Eating Disorder Association would promote health and connection. It wouldn’t bring the income, yet it would pay you so much more.

I think it would connect you to body respect and self trust.

You have been frank about your struggles with food and body image. I worry about your connection with this company for many reasons:

  • Since we know it doesn’t work for more than 3-5% of members long term, what will you experience when this diet doesn’t work for you? I think this will further promote body shame. And shame never promotes health.
  • Because of your eating disorder history, dieting will set up your brain to go further into this eating disorder thoughts and behaviors. Someone with an eating disorder history going on a diet is like someone with an anaphylactic allergy to peanuts eating a Peanut Butter & Jelly sandwich — deadly.
  • Dieting will only disconnect you from your health. Remember, diets are a weight cycling industry not a weight loss industry. We know weight cycling hurts insulin levels, blood pressure, mood, and quality of life. You have brought me more quality to my life and I want the same for you, Oprah!
  • Dieting distracts us from what is most important: family, friends and faith. Further, it distracts us from our true gifts. You positively affect so many and dieting is holding you back. Imagine the incredible change you could promote without the dieting distraction?

I think I have said my piece. Or peace. I want food peace for you, Oprah, and everyone on this amazing planet.

This food peace won’t bring money, yet it will bring about two more valuable investments: freedom and health.

Whitney Way Thores's dietitian Julie Duffy Dillon.
Whitney Way Thores’s dietitian Julie Duffy Dillon.