(121) I’m ashamed that I can’t control my eating and drinking (with Victoria Welsby)

Have you experienced a chaotic relationship with food full of diets and shame? Do you struggle with an addiction to alcohol and wonder if abstinence looks the same with food and alcohol? Are you exploring intuitive eating concepts yet feel out of control? Listen to the latest Love Food podcast with special guest Victoria Welsby.

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This episode is brought to you by my online course, Your Step-by-Step Guide to PCOS and Food Peace™. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

Check out the Love, Food Podcast store. All T-Shirt designs have at least one with size range options from XS to 5X. All proceeds go to funding this labor of love to keep it as a free resource for you.

Product links may be affiliate. If you click and make a purchase, there’s no extra cost to you.

The transcribed episode can be found here.

Episode’s Key Points:

  • Special guest Victoria Welsby from BamPowLife.
  • Dieting and making strides to lose weight and change your body in an effort to get the things you want in life (or to just simply be accepted) is the rule in our society rather than the exception
  • Research shows that those who embark on a dieting journey regain a significant amount of the weight lost within the first year and all or most of the weight back at year five. So what does this mean? Diets don’t work.
  • Additionally, dieting frequently induces shame. Shame that isn’t yours to carry as you don’t fail at diets. Rather, the diets fail you and this shame burden belongs to our oppressive society.
  • Sometimes alcohol dependence coincides with one’s eating concerns. However, it is important to separate these as while you can be addicted to alcohol, you cannot be addicted to food. You need food to live whereas your survival isn’t dependent on alcohol. In addition, while you can have a “normal” physical and emotional relationship with food as you recover from disordered eating, you may not be able to have the same relationship with alcohol moving forward.
  • As you begin to heal, it is important to make space to honor how you’ve been coping and keeping yourself alive.
  • As you explore Intuitive Eating, it is common to feel like you are constantly battling your brain in the beginning. This is because your body has to learn to trust you again and know food is unconditionally accessible.
  • Be kind to yourself, be patient with yourself, and remove the shame as you begin your Intuitive Eating journey. It is challenging work and takes time.
  • Healing from internalized fat phobia is a huge part of this journey as well and means learning to feel at home in your body as it is now as there are no body size guarantees.
  • Fat bodies are “normal” bodies too. Connecting with those who live in fat bodies is an important step in healing your relationship with food and your body.

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Thank you for listening to the Love, Food series.

Food controls my life. (Episode 118)

Do you feel like food has way too much power in your life and don’t see a way out?

Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds.

This episode is brought to you by my online course, Your Step-by-Step Guide to PCOS and Food Peace™. Enrollment is open! Receive my FREE road map: Your First 3 Steps Toward Food Peace™ with PCOS. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

Check out the whole Love, Food Podcast store here. All T-Shirt designs have at least one with size range options from XS to 5X. All proceeds go to funding this labor of love to keep it as a free resource for you.

Product links may be affiliate. If you click and make a purchase, there’s no extra cost to you.

The transcribed episode can be found here.

Episode’s Key Points:

  • How do we know when food has too much power? It’s when we’re thinking about it ALL DAY LONG. At night, while you’re eating a meal… all day.
  • We as humans are wired to survive, and if we’re not getting access to enough food, our bodies are going to send food preoccupation into overdrive. But there are ways to think about food in a calmer way! And it isn’t more restriction.
  • Remember, food preoccupation is you being a successful human. We don’t want to demonize that!
  • Diet culture and body hatred perpetuate all of these food rules and body rules, but these rules are manmade… they don’t actually help us, and they disconnect us from our internal wisdom.
  • Using food to soothe is a SKILL! It’s not something to feel shameful about. But maybe this coping skill doesn’t suit you anymore, and that’s okay.
  • Unconditional permission to eat is KEY to reducing food preoccupation, and as long as you’re giving yourself permission, you can explore what I call symbolic hunger.
  • Food also has too little power in our life… but what does this mean? It means that we aren’t giving ourselves room within our relationship with food for anything but food as fuel. We also need food for pleasure, and we need to give ourselves true unconditional permission to eat.
  • You don’t need to be fixed… the world does!
  • Food is the GREATEST connector. It unites us, and it connects us to ourselves.
  • Our relationship with food is a great window into our relationship with ourselves. When we make peace with food, we make peace with ourselves.

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Thank you for listening to the Love, Food series.

I’ve been at a higher weight and lower weight. I fear my body changing again. (Episode 116 with Sarah Thompson)

Are you healing your relationship with food and your body and are coming to the point of beginning to crave joyful movement and gentle nutrition, but are worried that delving into this part of the Food Peace™ journey will jeopardize your recovery? Are the people around you still stuck in diet culture, and you’re finding your relationship with them increasingly difficult as you move closer to Food Peace™? Listen now as special guest, Sarah Thompson, and I give our take on these Food Peace™ challenges.

Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds.

This episode is brought to you by my online course, Your Step-by-Step Guide to PCOS and Food Peace™. Enrollment opens TODAY! Receive my FREE road map: Your First 3 Steps Toward Food Peace™ with PCOS. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

Check out the whole Love Food Podcast store here. All T-Shirt designs have at least one with size range options from XS to 5X. All proceeds go to funding this labor of love to keep it as a free resource for you.

Product links may be affiliate. If you click and make a purchase, there’s no extra cost to you.

The transcribed episode can be found here.

Episode’s Key Points:

  • Sarah Thompson joins us to break down this week’s letter!
  • Internalized weight stigma and diet culture are challenging to let go of, but it’s necessary to find peace with food and our bodies.
  • Fatphobia is SO entrenched in all of us, and it hurts everyone no matter our body size!
  • Everyone is indoctrinated into diet culture, especially those of us who have been socialized as women.
  • Family dynamics can play a big role in how we relate to food and our bodies, especially if as children we’re made to act in a parental role.
  • Embracing food and body actions that stereotypically have ties to dieting and restriction can be scary, but we don’t have to engage with joyful movement and gentle nutrition in a disordered way! They can be nourishing actions, and they don’t have to belong to diet culture.
  • Body changes can be triggering, and weight loss may make us feel like we’re betraying the fat-acceptance community. Body changes can also throw our body-acceptance process for a loop, making us have to start the process of embracing our new shape all over again. But body changes are inevitable!
  • Make sure that you’re aware of your privilege, and acknowledge it! Make room for marginalized voices.
  • We get to enjoy salads and movement without promising ourselves weight loss and without falling down a disordered rabbit hole.
  • The more that we heal our relationship with food, the less we will feel that foods are “healthy” or “unhealthy.”
  • There are people in larger bodies that have an active lifestyle! We DON’T have to be a small body to enjoy movement, and we don’t have to pursue movement for the sake of weight loss. Movement belongs to everyone!
  • We’re all continually doing our own work and finding our own path.

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Thank you for listening to the Love, Food series.

My mom criticizes my body and food choices. (Episode 114)

What do we do when our foundation for Food Peace™ is rooted in negative self-talk and shame? How do we find make peace with our body when those around us are hyper-critical of our appearance? Listen now to get my tips on how to handle this part of the Food Peace™ journey.

Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds.

This episode is brought to you by my online course, Your Step-by-Step Guide to PCOS and Food Peace™. Sign up now to get on the waitlist for the next enrollment period in April, and receive my FREE road map: Your First 3 Steps Toward Food Peace™ with PCOS. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

Check out the whole Love Food Podcast store here. All T-Shirt designs have at least one with size range options from XS to 5X. All proceeds go to funding this labor of love to keep it as a free resource for you.

Product links may be affiliate. If you click and make a purchase, there’s no extra cost to you.

The transcribed episode can be found here.

Episode’s Key Points:

  • Caregivers have a HUGE impact on our sense of self-worth and the development of positive self-talk. If our primary caregiver is a critical voice in our lives, we are unable to create our own internal compassionate voice.
  • If we have a caregiver with a personality disorder, it can be doubly hard to assert your right to your body. Personality disorders can be super rigid, and it’s important to set boundaries around what is and isn’t allowed. Tell this person that you won’t talk about food and body with them anymore, period!
  • Specifically, having a primary caregiver with narcissistic personality disorder can really effect your ability to have a peaceful relationship with food and our body.
  • Our relationship with food MIRRORS our relationship with other aspects of our lives!
  • Experiencing a foundation of criticism related to our body will have a lasting impact on how we view our body.
  • The “shoulding” inner voice aims to shame us! It’s important to react like a rebellious teenager to these shoulding voices.
  • When we deprive our bodies, they react by seeking out large amounts of highly palatable foods. This is the way our body tries to save us! It’s important to reframe these experiences as something shameful, to something necessary for survival.
  • Compassionate curiosity is the foundation to Food Peace™. Seek out safe spaces to further enhance this journey, including online groups, therapists, and more.

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Thank you for listening to the Love, Food series.

My past trauma keeps me from healing my relationship with food (Ep 110 with Julie Church and Kara Bazzi)

Are you struggling to accept your body size, even though you’ve made peace with food? Is past trauma still affecting our ability to find true and lasting recovery? Julie Church and Kara Bazzi join me to break down this part of the Food Peace™ journey.

Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds.

This episode is brought to you by my online course, Your Step-by-Step Guide to PCOS and Food Peace™. Sign up now to get on the waitlist for the next enrollment period in April, and receive my FREE road map: Your First 3 Steps Toward Food Peace™ with PCOS. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how

Product links may be affiliate. If you click and make a purchase, there’s no extra cost to you.

Episode’s Key Points:

  • Working with a dietitian and therapist TEAM is so important for full recovery! Julie Church, RD, and Kara Bazzi, therapist, from Opal: Food + Body Wisdom Center join us to talk about this week’s letter.
  • Our eating behaviors are coping mechanisms, and sometimes we have to engage in some disordered behaviors to protect ourselves.
  • Shifting our relationship with our body is SO hard, especially when body hatred has plagued us for so long.
  • Seeking healing means there’s HOPE to find further growth and peace!
  • Our world is so, SO fatphobic, and it wrongly connects our weight to our health and our self-worth. Part of the work is disconnecting weight from these other factors.
  • Making peace with food and acting in self-care through nourishing ourselves does NOT mean you will lose weight, and it does NOT mean you’ll be in a smaller body! Food peace doesn’t equate to thinness.
  • Support yourself through this weight bias we experience by finding community. Advocate for yourself, and demand respect for your body! You deserve safe relationships.
  • Interrogate what’s behind the body hatred! Trauma, weight bias… these things can contribute to us not feeling safe in our bodies and disrupt our body image. Part of the process is striving for a more relational relationship with our bodies. Investigate some somatic work, and dig deep.

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Thank you for listening to the Love, Food series.