This one thing goes in every school lunch.

Right about when my kids start “sleeping in” until 8, it is time to send them back to school. I already miss the lazy days of summer!

This may surprise you: I too dread packing school lunches. 

Just ask my partner, Kevin, because he hears my complaints every night around 10 pm. I am tired and can’t fathom making another decision as I pack them each night. I could say I pack them with love (it is still there) yet it doesn’t look like that while I am packing them!

I am raising my kids to know no good or bad food yet school has quickly taught them the rules. We are managing somewhat to navigate this disordered eating world with open communication yet I still like to stay one step ahead.

My youngest started pre-k this year with a new-to-us teacher. Since I didn’t know her or her assistants yet, I decided to pack this note in his lunch box:

 

I appreciate child care providers have so much love in their hearts and only want our kids to be safe and healthy. Unfortunately, our fat phobic world and normalized disordered eating lead us to this common preschool lunch talk:

  • “Eat your growing foods first.”
  • “Make it a happy plate.”
  • “You didn’t eat your lunch so no dessert.”

I want to avoid teaching diets with every cell of my being. 

I know I can’t fully avoid them yet will face them as they come. I hope this lunch box note, from The Feeding Doctor Katja Rowell’s work found here, prevents some of the diet talk directed toward my youngest child. I have used this card before and have found them helpful.

Have you tried to include these cards? What has been the reaction?

So far my wishes have been respected. And, I am poised to intervene when not.

This week’s Love Food Podcast episode features a letter from someone struggling with the urge to binge. I invited Isabel Foxen Duke to help me answer the letter and we discussed how much dieting and fat phobia contribute to binge eating behavior.

Those very common preschool lunch directions come from internalized fat phobia. I hope the notecard fights back.

Have you listened to this week’s episode? It is a great one! Catch up here.

As you transition to fall schedules and events, I hope it is energizing and engaging for you.

Have a great week friend.

Warmly,

Julie

p.s. I am SOOOOO stinking excited to share what I have been working on for the last 6 months. I will be finally spilling the beans in the next month and I am about to BURST. Details soon…..

I have always felt ashamed of my body. {with Antonia Hartley}

Do you feel shame around your relationship with food and your body? Are you worried about disclosing your eating behavior to a current partner or loved one? Do you find yourself thinking about food all the time? Listen now for some concrete solutions to overcome these barriers to food peace.

Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds.

This episode is brought to you by Pursuing Private Practice Masterclass.

Ready to start doing things your way and kiss the corporate world goodbye?

Details here and remember the super secret discount code BOSS for 10% off.

Episode’s Key Points:

  • Shame is so common in the eating disorder experience!!
  • Antonia Hartley joins to help tackle this letter writer’s struggles…
  • Eating disorders make us feel so alone and isolated, but there are many people dealing with the same issues.
  • Insight and awareness are vital to finding recovery and healing, but it can only take you so far. It’s important to work with a dietitian or other eating disorder professional to find lasting recovery and make changes!
  • Finding a Health at Every Size dietitian to work with is SUPER important to make sure you’re in a safe environment to find help.
  • If you’re thinking about food all day long, definitely inquire if you’re eating enough! Sometimes restriction is physical or mental, and adequacy with food is very important!! If you’re bingeing, it’s likely that you’re NOT getting enough, no matter what size you are.
  • It’s NOT as simple as calories in, calories out. Our metabolism is MUCH more complicated than that!
  • Sometimes there is fear in letting go of our eating disorder because there is a small part of us that feels these diet rules are serving us in some way… but they’re not!
  • “Honesty is the antithesis of eating disorder behavior.” – Antonia
  • Relationships are SO important in eating disorder recovery! Be honest with those you love, and set the boundaries around triggers.
  • Eating behaviors can be a messenger for our emotions or our needs… listen to them!
  • If you’re in a situation where someone in your life is consistently triggering you, don’t be afraid to bring them into a therapy session with you to parse out exactly what you need from them as a loved one. Remember, we live in diet-culture world, so give your loved ones some time to adjust to this new way of life!
  • Be aware of your own internalized fat stigma when exploring recovery.
  • You weren’t born with food rules!! These are LEARNED behaviors and “truths.”
  • Checking back in with your treatment team post-recovery is SO important! Remember, we live in a world that hasn’t recovered from its own eating disorder, so having a supportive community around you is essential for maintaining recovery.
  • On feminism: Feminism is for everyone, not just women! Ending sexism is good for everyone.
  • Ending weight stigma helps everyone!

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Thank you for listening to the Love, Food series.

My mom put me on my first diet.

Do you have a love/hate relationship with food? Are your food issues related to your fear of gaining weight? Have you been struggling for some time, going back and forth between recovery and eating disorder behaviors due to the fear around what food peace truly means? Does food insecurity impact your relationship with food? Listen now for some tips on how to overcome these challenges.

Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds.

This episode is brought to you by Pursuing Private Practice Masterclass.

Ready to start doing things your way and kiss the corporate world goodbye?

Details here and remember the super secret discount code BOSS for 10% off.

Episode’s Key Points:

  • Meret Boxler, host of the Life. Unrestricted podcast, shares her letter about her food peace journey and struggles!
  • None of this is your fault!!
  • Sometimes our family dynamics produce a situation in which the children have to become their own parents to survive. This can impact our relationship with food very deeply.
  • Ellyn Satter’s food hierarchy of needs versus the Maslow hierarchy of needs: our foundational needs must be met in order to build towards needs higher up the pyramid. If we’re struggling with our foundational needs, we won’t be motivated to reach for our more nuanced needs.
    • For example, food security is the foundation of the food hierarchy of needs. If someone wants to work towards wellness, food security must be established first!
    • Some examples of food insecurity: poverty, growing up with caregivers who were always on diets or policing food etc. These environments prevent a foundational sense of food security from forming.
  • Wellness is NOT the most important thing in our relationship with food… it’s food security. Permission around foods (especially fun foods!) can be part of the big picture of healing from a past of food insecurity.
  • Feeling our feelings is very important in this food peace process!!
  • If we work at it, our needs around permission and food security will eventually be met. Be patient! You are worth this work!!
  • Food peace is your birthright.
  • Weight stigma is at the core of a lot of our food peace struggles. It is OPPRESSIVE! We need to stop the discrimination based on weight, rather than push people to change their bodies.
  • We need to end weight-based bullying!!
  • The media tells us which body sizes are acceptable. Representation of ALL kinds of bodies is so important.
  • Weight-based stigma in the eating disorder community is a big problem! You can’t tell by a person’s appearance if they’re struggling with an eating disorder.
  • Weight is NOT indicative of health! All bodies of all sizes and abilities can strive for health-promoting behaviors, including body acceptance and intuitive eating.
  • Self-compassion is key!!

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Thank you for listening to the Love, Food series.

I’m a closet eater. And, so ashamed.

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Have you ever been someone who sneak eats, or eats other people’s food as a way to disguise your own food patterns? Do you identify as a binge eater who has battled the restrict-binge cycle your whole life? Does food feel like a vice, rather than a wonderful tool of connection and nourishment? Listen now for some solutions to these challenges.

Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds.

From our sponsor: Green Mountain at Fox Run Specialized Track for College-Aged Women

Dieting trends. Endless images of ‘perfect bodies’. Find a permanent solution to struggles with food, weight and body at Green Mountain at Fox Run. Green Mountain is hosting weekly programs between May 14 and August 26 tailored to the needs of women between ages 18 and 25. Your whole life is ahead of you, and you deserve to live it happily and in good health. Visit https://goo.gl/2r8B2W for more information.

Episode’s Key Points:

  • Around age five or six, all children go through “Adiposity Rebound.” This usually means that developmentally, children will gain weight to prepare for growth in the next few years. Our bodies as kids change so drastically all the time!
  • We live in a fat phobic society!! It’s a disgusting reality, but we live in a culture that is not accepting of larger bodies.
  • If an adolescent in your life comes to you and says they want to lose weight, go on a diet, or start an exercise regimen, DO NOT offer to go on it with them! This sends the message that their body needs fixing. Instead, let them know that you will love them no matter what, unconditionally.
  • Every BINGE starts with RESTRICTION!!
  • There are so many people who understand this struggle, feel shame around their eating behaviors, and experience the tug of war of bingeing and restricting.
  • Stop the food fight and take a rest!
  • Dieting and restriction are the SAME THINGS!!
  • The more we restrict and the more we sit in shame, the more we binge.
  • There is a function of binge eating disorder! Bingeing can help us to disconnect from discomfort.
  • Recovery from binge eating disorder takes, on average, six to seven years. Do so with the help of an eating disorder dietitian and a whole team of experts!
  • Eating disorders are complicated because they include elements of mental health along with cultural issues of size acceptance.
  • We live in a world that hasn’t recovered from its own eating disorder yet!!
  • Counseling and therapy are KEY elements to recovery!
  • Work with a counselor and a dietitian together to help you along your journey and speed up your recovery process.
  • You’re worth recovery!!
  • Shame is a HUGE weight on our shoulders… remove it with the help of professionals!
  • You CAN find balance and food peace!!

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Thank you for listening to the Love, Food series. Give me feedback via Twitter @EatingPermitRD.

gmfr-logo

This episode is sponsored by my friends at Green Mountain at Fox Run.

Binge & Emotional Eating Weekend Intensive

The Women’s Center for Binge & Emotional Eating is offering its foundational one-week Pathway™ program in an intensive weekend format. Participants will explore personal barriers and how to counter them with evidence-based strategies to prevent eating in response to stress and emotions. Dates are scheduled monthly throughout 2017 although capacity is limited, so visit https://goo.gl/xFh2up  for more information.

There’s only ONE premier retreat for women who struggle with eating and weight.

It’s time to shine the light on yourself and make YOURSELF the priority. Here at Green Mountain at Fox Run, we’re all about embracing and supporting yourself through self-care. Through powerful tools such as mindfulness techniques, stress management skills, and movement that is customized to your body and fitness level, you’ll learn to practice self-care in your daily life. Visit https://goo.gl/si9wZi for more information.

Green Mountain at Fox Run’s Binge Eating White Paper – Myths, Truths and Treatments

Download Green Mountain’s free whitepaper to understand Binge Eating Disorder, the most common eating disorder. Explore the symptoms of and treatment for BED, assess where weight loss fits in, and gain clarity on common myths. Visit https://goo.gl/UGpF78 for more information.

The Love Food Podcast Episode 61

061 Image

Do you live in a fat body and struggle to make peace with food due to the overwhelming fat phobia in our culture? Are your healthcare providers, friends, and family urging you to lose weight, even though your body size is right for you? Listen now for some answers on how to overcome this difficult hurdle to making peace with food and your body.

Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds.

From our sponsor: Green Mountain at Fox Run Specialized Track for College-Aged Women

Dieting trends. Endless images of ‘perfect bodies’. Find a permanent solution to struggles with food, weight and body at Green Mountain at Fox Run. Green Mountain is hosting weekly programs between May 14 and August 26 tailored to the needs of women between ages 18 and 25. Your whole life is ahead of you, and you deserve to live it happily and in good health. Visit https://goo.gl/2r8B2W for more information.

Episode’s Key Points:

  • Part of recovery and healing our relationship with food and our bodies is making peace with our body shape and size, no matter where it may fall. This can be a super difficult part of the process, especially for people who end up in fat bodies because we live in an extremely fat-phobic society!!
  • Prescribing diets for long-term weight loss just DOESN’T work!
  • How do we learn to accept and respect our body in a world that doesn’t treat all bodies with kindness?
  • Food peace means learning to be flexible, compassionate, and accepting.
  • We have to learn to trust our hunger and fullness cues, along with our satisfaction levels. But when we learn to let go and trust out internal regulation to tell us how much food we need to eat, we also have to let go of our hopes to control our body size.
  • Sometimes intuitive eating results in a body size that is larger than the culturally “accepted” standard. This whole idea of “too large” and subscribing to the thin ideal is a huge no-no, as we can all achieve health at any size, but this judgment from others can be a huge barrier to food and body peace!
  • Pursuing weight loss and a smaller body is part of what leads to eating disorders.
  • Eating disorders kill someone every 23 hours.
  • You don’t have to experience an eating disorder in order to be given permission to trust your body’s hunger and fullness cues!
  • Unfortunately, trusting our bodies and having a peaceful relationship with food is NOT a normal occurrence these days.
  • Dieting is disordered eating!!
  • PCOS and disordered eating go hand in hand… some people with PCOS end up in a larger body due to insulin levels, and part of the common “treatment” involves weight loss. BUT not everyone with PCOS is in a fat body, so why do we use weight loss as a primary treatment??
  • If you’re trying to deal with doctors while in a fat body, a great question to ask is, “What would you tell a thin person suffering with the condition I’ve come in here to talk about?” This way you won’t just get the standard “lose weight” directive, and you may actually get some quality healthcare that doesn’t focus on weight!
  • Pursuing weight loss is one of the most unhealthy mindsets we can have. The more we pursue weight loss, the more we will weigh, and the more at risk we are for an eating disorder.
  • It’s time we challenge our weight bias!! It’s easier for us to change the culture than to ask fat people to lose weight.
  • Focusing on recovery, rather than weight loss, will help with people dealing with PCOS.
  • I will be launching a special PCOS, food peace course in September!!!
  • Did you know that on average it takes meeting with five different counselors before you meet your perfect therapeutic match?? Keep looking for your best therapist!
  • Online courses can also be a great supplementary support resource, and there are a ton popping up!
  • Can we pursue body and food respect for our children?? So often we pass body hate onto our kids.
  • Over 70 studies show that intuitive eaters have healthier bodies and remain at more stable weights than dieters. Intuitive eating helps people come back to health!
  • If we work towards respecting our bodies, our size will level out at a place that is most comfortable for the individual.
  • Our next episode of the Love, Food Podcast will feature Evelyn Tribole, co-author of Intuitive Eating!
  • Surround yourself with more people who will support your body peace journey!!
  • All bodies are good bodies, and all bodies deserve to feel at home in their skin.

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Thank you for listening to the Love, Food series. Give me feedback via Twitter @EatingPermitRD.

gmfr-logo

This episode is sponsored by my friends at Green Mountain at Fox Run.

Binge & Emotional Eating Weekend Intensive

The Women’s Center for Binge & Emotional Eating is offering its foundational one-week Pathway™ program in an intensive weekend format. Participants will explore personal barriers and how to counter them with evidence-based strategies to prevent eating in response to stress and emotions. Dates are scheduled monthly throughout 2017 although capacity is limited, so visit https://goo.gl/xFh2up  for more information.

There’s only ONE premier retreat for women who struggle with eating and weight.

It’s time to shine the light on yourself and make YOURSELF the priority. Here at Green Mountain at Fox Run, we’re all about embracing and supporting yourself through self-care. Through powerful tools such as mindfulness techniques, stress management skills, and movement that is customized to your body and fitness level, you’ll learn to practice self-care in your daily life. Visit https://goo.gl/si9wZi for more information.

Green Mountain at Fox Run’s Binge Eating White Paper – Myths, Truths and Treatments

Download Green Mountain’s free whitepaper to understand Binge Eating Disorder, the most common eating disorder. Explore the symptoms of and treatment for BED, assess where weight loss fits in, and gain clarity on common myths. Visit https://goo.gl/UGpF78 for more information.