Have you finally found food freedom with intuitive eating, but are now struggling with the difficult emotions that used to be managed with food? Listen now for some relief from this food peace conundrum.
This episode is brought to you by my online course, Your Step-by-Step Guide to PCOS and Food Peace. Sign up now to get on the waitlist for the next enrollment period in January 2018, and receive my FREE road map: Your First 3 Steps Toward Food Peace with PCOS. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.
Episode’s Key Points:
Intuitive eating can feel SO freeing and exciting, but it also can be tough and SUPER scary!
Can you sit with the uncomfortable emotions that come up during the intuitive eating process?
Emotional eating is a part of normal eating!! The problem is when food is the ONLY method we have to soothe hard feelings.
Part of the food peace journey is moving away from diet culture.
Give yourself unconditional permission to eat, and unconditional permission to eat food emotionally!
Our world hasn’t recovered from it’s own eating disorder yet, and that means that food peace can feel really, really hard.
We need more fat positivity in our world. Exploring more body image resources can help mitigate the hard feelings that come up in the food peace journey.
Intuitive eating takes TIME. Give yourself some patience and compassion, and know that you’re going to get there eventually.
Immerse yourself in recovery… jump all in!! Give yourself unconditional permission to eat, and unconditional permission to let your body be where it needs to be.
ALL of our bodies will change throughout our lives, so we need to make peace with our body no matter what it looks like at any one time.
You can’t experience recovery until you’re ALL IN! Surround yourself with other food peace and body acceptance warriors to support your journey.
This episode is brought to you by my online course, PCOS and Food Peace. Sign up now to get on the waitlist for the next enrollment period in January 2018, and receive my FREE road map: Your First 3 Steps Toward Food Peace with PCOS. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.
Trying to heal our relationship with food while struggling with a health condition can be SO hard! Too many health conditions tangle up weight with health, and this can make food peace EVEN HARDER to achieve.
Anna Sweeney joins us to talk about finding food peace with a chronic health condition!
We’re allowed to love food!! Food is AWESOME, and we’re supposed to love it!
Watch kids eat to see a purely intuitive, blissful experience with food.
Having a positive experience with food is often met with concern, and THAT is the problem, NOT your love of food!
We’re told that we shouldn’t trust our body from a young age… but that isn’t true! Our body WANTS us to be successful humans, and it’s NOT trying to sabotage us.
We need to move away from this fear mongering space around food and body.
It’s time to unlearn diet culture in order to recover from disordered eating!
ANY body that’s not being appropriately nourished (including satisfaction!) is super likely to have difficult gastric experiences. So it isn’t about changing our diet… it’s about making peace with food! The only way to heal our gut is with appropriate nutrition.
Following any sort of diet DISCONNECTS us from our internal wisdom. The body lets us know what feels good and what doesn’t!
What do you think about all these Switch Witch shenanigans?
This popular Switch Witch wants to rid kids of terrifying candy.
My question: terrifying for the kids…or scary for the parents?
To get us all on the same page: the witch hangs out with the family starting October 1st and disappears on Halloween, candy in tow. When the kids awaken the next day, the candy is gone yet they are all smiles with shiny new toys. Parents do not have to deal with the food fights. Everyone wins.
Sounds like a great solution, right?
Uh, no. Let me explain.
1.) Allowing Halloween candy helps your child practice how to be around all foods.
Like it or not, we live in a world with many different foods. Children are limited by what parents allow into the home and the structure they provide.
We are required by law to feed our children and that makes them grow up. They leave us for college or trade school or when we get tired of each other and they move out. And the world will be their oyster. Or candy bar.
They get to decide which foods they will have in their dwelling. Seinfeld speaks this awesome truth here:
If a child was never taught how to experience highly palatable (*I won’t use the word junk here*) food, he will learn later in life.
A young adult never exposed to fun food will have a tough time eating them without shame. Shame never promotes health.
This shame-based food relationship produces an adult who feels out of control around certain foods. For many, this develops into bingeing and secret eating. These are typical eating disorder behaviors.
Oh what a web we weave.
Have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help.
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2) Keeping Halloween candy out of the house has more to say about the adult’s inability to be around the food than keeping a child healthy.
Fun foods taste gooooood. And that is why we adults yearn for ideas like the Switch Witch.
We don’t trust ourselves around the food and feel shame when we can’t stop eating them.
So we avoid the candy or other yummy treats. Our solution: keep it out of the house. Then, when a special holiday food comes around (helloooo candy corn!), we feel guilt free enough to “indulge” and curse the candy when we succumb to the tummy ache alarm to stop noshing.
This is not the food’s fault.
This is the basic law of food deprivation.
When we are around a novel food, our brains light up with interest. Sometimes even obsess. ¹ When we finally allow a bite, it is always hard to stop.
Allowing Halloween candy to remain around models how we as grown ups can navigate different types of food.
Too scary? You are not alone.
There is a way to heal this. It is called unconditional permission to eat. When a person has true permission to choose any food in any amount, eating according to physical hunger and fullness cues is the norm. This won’t work if “permission” is tangled up with one of these familiar sabotaging statements:
I will just have one.
I will save up my calories to have candy tonight.
I will exercise off calories to have candy tonight.
When we view food choices with permission, we begin to experience healthy ways of relating to food. This concept is from Intuitive Eating by Tribole and Resch and 75+ research studies demonstrate its evidenced-based interventions to promote health. Life changing work is done within its framework. I encourage you to check it out for yourself and your children.
3) Keeping the Halloween candy around will teach your children to not let food have more power than it deserves.
Imagine if you took your child into a room full of toys and said, “Play with any toy you like….except this one.” Even if the toy is a smelly old shoe, it will cause a 30 minute temper tantrum until the child is allowed to play with it.
Go ahead try for yourself. I dare you.
Having a witch magically steal your child’s candy let’s them know these foods are forbidden. And a house that forbids food gives that food 100 times more power than it deserves.
My clients affected by eating disorders spend too much time and energy thinking about forbidden foods. To the point they will not go to parties, or on dates. Their social life suffers.
Some won’t even leave the house in fear they will have to face a forbidden food.
I appreciate this is a strong statement and my work with eating disorder clients allows me to believe it: making candy a forbidden food is setting children up to experience disordered eating pathology. And, yes, that is very serious.
Where can we find help navigating the parental decisions around Halloween candy? Ellyn Satter has the best recommendations. I reread them every year. Spend time reading her recommendations here.
And ditch that witch.
Want to find a way to treat your PCOS without dieting?
Footnote (i.e. best part of any blog post) ¹ This may bring up food addiction for many. You don’t have to send me articles or scholarly journals on food addiction since I am keeping up with the research. Until they control for food deprivation, the research means nothing unless you are a robot without free will.
If you make peace with food correctly, will you lose weight? Have you gained weight with intuitive eating so think you are doing it wrong? Or, that it isn’t working? Does going back on a diet feel tempting due to these body changes, even though you know it ultimately isn’t the right path for you? Listen now to hear my tips on how to grapple with this food peace struggle.
This episode is brought to you by my FREE roadmap, PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how. Join our Facebook group to get extra support!
Episode’s Key Points:
Some diets are diets in disguise! They pretend to be non-diets, but they still focus on weight loss and tell us that certain foods are good or bad. Even intuitive eating has been co-opted by the diet industry!
Intuitive eating can result in weight loss, weight gain, or sustaining our weight… intuitive eating is not about the weight!! It’s about experiencing health, and letting the weight fall where it may. So if you see someone promoting intuitive eating as a weight loss solution, know that this is a diet in disguise, and not a part of true intuitive eating! Instead, this is a part of diet culture.
Our weight will ALWAYS change!!
We can’t love ourselves thin.
Emotional eating and binge eating does NOT mean that we hate our bodies!
Emotional eating and binge eating are a COPING responses… if there was more permission for our bodies to be whatever size they needed to be, there would probably be less binge and emotional eating.
If we eliminated dieting and a fatphobic society, binge eating and emotional eating wouldn’t feel as out of control!
Be careful who’s advice you take in the intuitive eating world!! Not everyone who claims to be teaching intuitive eating has done the proper training.
Only our body knows how much we’re meant to weight, and the more we diet and experience weight cycling, the heavier we get.
95% of people regain weight after each diet, and a third to a half of those individuals will regain MORE weight than they lost… making us ultimately heavier. Weight cycling also results in a reduced metabolism.
Intuitive eating and the healing process are NOT at fault for weight gain! Instead, it’s the fault of the initial diet, as well as our natural set point.
Work towards body neutrality by acknowledging the fatphobia in our society.
Are you trying to find food peace, while also struggling with a chronic illness that requires food restriction of some kind? Do you have fear around certain foods making you sick? Have you struggled with the deprivation and binge cycle? Listen now for some strategies to tackle these food peace challenges.
This episode is brought to you by my FREE PCOS video training. Get connected now and be the first to get it when it releases in mid-September. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how. Join our Facebook group to get extra support!
Feelings of betrayal from food and your body can make finding body trust and connecting with your internal wisdom that much harder.
Have self-compassion and gratitude for what our bodies CAN do!
Let’s shift our thinking… instead of listing all the foods you CAN’T eat when you struggle with something like celiac disease, figure out all the foods you CAN eat.
Intuitive eating isn’t JUST about flavor (Elyse calls it “the tongue”)! It’s also about tuning into how we FEEL when we eat certain foods.
Intuitive eating is a combination of instinct, feeling, and thought!
How do we use our body, education, taste, and intellect to help guide us in our choices?
Healthy eating includes pleasure and satisfaction!!
If we don’t honor our hunger, we’ll put ourselves in a situation where we’re ravenous, and then we can’t find satisfaction in our food. Likewise, if we eat without hunger present, food just doesn’t taste as good! It’s all about finding the middle ground with hunger.
Feelings of deprivation lead directly to bingeing!
Shifting our mentality can open the door to profound healing.
Dieting doesn’t work!!
Lean into compassion… whatever we’ve done, we’ve done it because it’s what we thought we needed to do at the time. It was a way to cope! We can’t get mad at ourselves for doing our very best, even if it didn’t turn out to be a sustainable path for progress.
Come from a place of curiosity, rather than judgment.
Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com.
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