(145) Can I eat intuitively and help my child with a diet restriction? (with Kathryn Riner)

Many on their Food Peace™ journey find it tough to raise children because of the pressure to limit certain foods or focus on weight. Even tougher when a child is placed on a restrictive diet or given a recommendation to avoid certain foods or food groups. Can you relate? How did this effect your Food Peace journey? Listen to the latest Love Food episode podcast that examines this part of the journey with special guest Kathryn Riner.

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This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how. Get 30% off using the coupon code ‘lovefood’ at check out through the month of February 2019.

thirdwheelED is a social media advocacy platform that raises awareness of eating disorders in LGBTQ+ communities. Started by a queer couple whose writing addresses the intersectionality of eating disorders and body image, including gender dysphoria; a queer identity; trauma; and gender identity and expression, CJ and OJ provide a dual perspective of eating disorder recovery through the lens of a nonbinary person in recovery and of a nontraditional family carer, who just happens to also be a registered dietitian! CJ and OJ would love to work with eating disorder professionals on cultivating inclusive treatment for eating disorders in LGBTQ+ communities and are available to discuss training, webinars, and speaking engagements. You can follow them on instagram, facebook, and twitter @thirdwheeled or email them at info@thirdwheeled.com.

This episode’s Dear Food letter:

Dear Food, 

You and I have had our ups and our downs.  When I was younger I avoided you.  When I was older, I feared you.  Yet, I could never quite get over you.  You helped me connect with my children through baking and cooking.  Covered with flour in the kitchen, we created some of my favorite memories.  Then I would swear you off and eat ‘diet’ versions of you, leaving my children confused and looking for an answer.
I realized that something was wrong when my 7 year old twin girls started measuring themselves.  They would tell me proudly how they had said no to the pizza at the cafeteria and had only eaten the small salad for lunch.  I had never talked to them about you, food, but they caught on quickly.  I felt awful.  I didn’t want my children to go through the same confusion and disappointment that I felt.  This led me to my journey to finding my own peace with you, food.
After discovering intuitive eating and ellyn satter’s books about a year ago, our family has practiced the principles as we eat together each day.  We have learned how to reconnect with both nutritious and fun versions of you.  I have felt so much peace when I’ve see them eat a cookie with enthusiasm, and then reach for bell peppers with that same enjoyment.  The obsessions with weight are gone for both me and my children.  I thought we had it all figured out!
Then we hit a roadblock with you, food.  My 6 year old son was diagnosed with PANDAS, an autoimmune disorder.  He has an infection in his brain, and his body is confusing his own brain tissue for the infection itself.  After an ineffective round of antibiotics, his doctor is pushing us to go on a ‘no sugar diet’, so there is nothing to feed the infection.  This means no sugar and very limited fruits and carbohydrates.  The diet could last for months or even years.
I am happy to do anything I can to see my son be healthy again.  But I am concerned, food.  I am worried that by throwing good and bad labels into our families food vocabulary, we will undo all of our hard work. I am worried that even after my son is healthy, he will still have a fear of these versions of you.  I am worried that he will start sneaking you at friends houses or at school and end up eating more sugar than he is now (which isn’t a lot).
Yet, I am also worried that if I let him choose, he will never get better.  I have always been good at being extreme with you, food.  It seems easier just to ban everything that might be hurting him.
When I brought up these concerns with our doctor, he just seemed confused.  He said that if I have the discipline to make an extreme change, that could only be helpful to my son.
The holiday season is here and it is time to make a decision.  Is there a way to eat intuitively and follow these dietary restrictions?  If we leave weight out of it, is it still a diet?  I just want to make life a little more simple for my children than it was for me.
Sincerely,
Scared and Hopeful

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

(143) How do I control my emotional eating?

Do you refer to yourself as an emotional eater? Do you feel shame whenever you feel soothed by food? Listen to this latest Love Food Podcast episode exploring the normal side of emotional eating and how to redefine your next steps toward Food Peace™.

Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds.

This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

I’ve just discovered the Body Love Box and it looks like a fantastic resource for people who live in large bodies or anyone who wants to improve their body image. It’s a monthly subscription box that gets mailed to your home and it includes things like body-positive stickers and pins as well as deeper resources on body acceptance, health at every size and intuitive eating. Each box includes items from fat and marginalized creators, and pays them a living wage for their work.
The monthly subscription can be found at www.thebodylovebox.com, and use the code LOVEFOOD for 15% off your first month.

This episode’s Dear Food letter:

Dear food, 

I’m 32 and I’ve only just started listening to my thoughts/emotions and how my eating patterns are effected.

If I’m not feeling good enough, when I’m dumped by a boyfriend, ignored or shut out by a person then I binge eat. I’m so sad that I go straight for the whole tub of ice cream and a whole bag of chips etc…

If I’m worried or stressed then I have no appetite and forget, or just cannot physically eat.

I would love to take charge of my emotional eating as it causes me to feel sluggish, heavy, I don’t know why I do it because it doesn’t make me feel better. I would really like to take control of my emotional eating. As I understand it I have to tackle my emotional connection to food which is triggered by not being good enough.

I’m early in this and looking forward to learning more about other people’s journeys which will support me on my own.

Many thanks,

Trapped Emotional Eater

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

(139) I fear everyone judging what I eat (with Jenna Hollenstein)

Picture this: you are in a restaurant and really craving a burger. Or a salad. You freeze. Will people judge what you choose? Do you judge what other’s choose? And how does this get in the way of your Food Peace journey? Listen to this latest episode of Love Food with special guest Jenna Hollenstein RD author of Eat to Love.

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This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

This episode’s Dear Food letter:

Dear Food,

I have recently been on an uphill battle to try and fix our relationship. After countless years of living a secret life with an unacknowledged eating disorder- consisting largely of restricting and bingeing- I made the change to recognize and treat my disordered eating patterns. I have since been diagnosed with an eating disorder and am currently adventuring through the recovery process with a support system of professionals and loved ones.

Although I can feel and appreciate the changes that I’ve made and the growth that I’ve experienced, there is one recurring thought I cannot let go of. I feel that it is keeping me trapped in my eating disorder world. Currently, I am gradually increasing my food intake and attempting to diversify the types of food that I consume. However, I’m finding this to be a painfully difficult experience because I cannot stop thinking that everyone is constantly judging me for what I eat. Essentially, whenever I eat something, I believe that other people are thinking to themselves, “wow, look at her eating that…she is eating that because she is fat”. This thought is strongest if I were to ever eat food that is constructed as “unhealthy”, but is also present if I were to eat food that is constructed as “healthy” but consume a lot of it. For example, when I eat a restaurant, I fear finishing my plate because I assume that the wait staff will judge me for eating all of the food and will judge my body.

That being said, I understand that this is an illogical believe to have. I have countless pieces of objective evidence (e.g., from doctors, the number on the scale, the size of clothing I wear) that indicate that I am not fat, I am not overweight. Yet, this evidence doesn’t override my internal belief that my body is too big and that others are in agreeance with me. Throughout my recovery process, I have come to understand that I hold a strong core belief that my worth comes from my body and that I should always strive for a smaller body. I know this belief is problematic, but I can’t stop agreeing and believing it.

To add one other layer to this puzzle, this thought- where others judge my body and believe that I shouldn’t be eating because my body hasn’t achieved the thin ideal it has been striving for- is particularly difficult for me to let go of because I hold this judgment on others. I find myself judging others for what they eat and I tend to, in my mind, idealize those with small bodies and not hold them to this same judgment. This has been a difficult piece for me to accept because it makes me feel so sad and ashamed to think that I am doing to others what I fear others are doing to me. This fear has fueled so many problematic behaviors and I know it is so unfair for me to hold this judgment on others.

I am wondering how I can overcome this. How do I remove this judgment that I place on myself and on others? How do I let go of this tiring, inaccurate mind-reading game I am constantly playing? Will I ever accept my body and accept the fact that it deserves to eat food- and a variety of foods?

Sincerely,

A life of judging and judgment

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

(138) I keep eating out of anger and spite. Will I ever eat intuitively?

Have you decided to ditch diets and rely on hunger yet stuck? Maybe you are like many other people and find yourself so angry, always rebeling, and eating in spite of the false truths you’ve been told: diets will fix you and your body is not acceptable. Oooooh the lies you’ve been told! Pull up a chair and let’s discuss what to do next on this latest Love Food Podcast episode. This episode covers the 6 keys to Food Peace.

Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds.

This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

This episode’s Dear Food letter:

Dear Food,

I’ve been through ED treatment, which allowed me to have MUCH less stress in my life about food and dieting.

But now, I have so much freedom, but I’m not one bit interested in eating intuitively.

I’m almost eating in spite of everything I used to believe: I’m bad, I’m too fat, I’m unhealthy, I’m rebellious, I’m holding myself back from so many opportunities by being so large, etc.

Eating intuitively is hard when you’re SO angry.

Is this “eating whatever I want when I want” ever going to become normal? I just wish i didn’t have to think about this.

Sincerely,

Training yet Confused

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

(125) I feel guilty when I eat (with Amanda Martinez Beck)

Do you ever feel guilt for eating certain foods? Do you fear judgement about what other people will think about your body or food choices? Do you ever catch yourself labeling food “good” or bad?” Are you finding it difficult to feel at home in your aging body? Listen along to this week’s episode as Amanda Martinez Beck helps provide meaningful reflection.

Episode’s Key Points:

  • Special guest: Amanda Martinez Beck, co-host of the Fat and Faithful podcast
  • Typically, we feel shame when we feel as though we have failed at meeting some type of expectations.
  • When processing body shame, it is often helpful to turn the conversation to, “What is the purpose of my body?” and being able to shift our understanding of its purpose from being a means to control life’s uncertainties to being a bridge of connection to other people.
  • Quote to live by: “All bodies are good bodies”–because all types of bodies can form connections with others.
  • Our aging bodies tell our stories and reflect ours and our ancestors’ journeys.

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Thank you for listening to the Love, Food series.