Food controls my life. (Episode 118)

Do you feel like food has way too much power in your life and don’t see a way out?

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This episode is brought to you by my online course, Your Step-by-Step Guide to PCOS and Food Peace™. Enrollment is open! Receive my FREE road map: Your First 3 Steps Toward Food Peace™ with PCOS. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

Check out the whole Love, Food Podcast store here. All T-Shirt designs have at least one with size range options from XS to 5X. All proceeds go to funding this labor of love to keep it as a free resource for you.

Product links may be affiliate. If you click and make a purchase, there’s no extra cost to you.

The transcribed episode can be found here.

Episode’s Key Points:

  • How do we know when food has too much power? It’s when we’re thinking about it ALL DAY LONG. At night, while you’re eating a meal… all day.
  • We as humans are wired to survive, and if we’re not getting access to enough food, our bodies are going to send food preoccupation into overdrive. But there are ways to think about food in a calmer way! And it isn’t more restriction.
  • Remember, food preoccupation is you being a successful human. We don’t want to demonize that!
  • Diet culture and body hatred perpetuate all of these food rules and body rules, but these rules are manmade… they don’t actually help us, and they disconnect us from our internal wisdom.
  • Using food to soothe is a SKILL! It’s not something to feel shameful about. But maybe this coping skill doesn’t suit you anymore, and that’s okay.
  • Unconditional permission to eat is KEY to reducing food preoccupation, and as long as you’re giving yourself permission, you can explore what I call symbolic hunger.
  • Food also has too little power in our life… but what does this mean? It means that we aren’t giving ourselves room within our relationship with food for anything but food as fuel. We also need food for pleasure, and we need to give ourselves true unconditional permission to eat.
  • You don’t need to be fixed… the world does!
  • Food is the GREATEST connector. It unites us, and it connects us to ourselves.
  • Our relationship with food is a great window into our relationship with ourselves. When we make peace with food, we make peace with ourselves.

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Thank you for listening to the Love, Food series.

I’m a food addict. I will never make peace with you. (Episode 117)

Have you ever described your relationship with food as an addiction? Do you think that Food Peace™ will never work for you because you’re addicted to certain kinds of food? Listen now to get my take on this Food Peace™ challenge.

Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds.

This episode is brought to you by my online course, Your Step-by-Step Guide to PCOS and Food Peace™. Enrollment is open! Receive my FREE road map: Your First 3 Steps Toward Food Peace™ with PCOS. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

Check out the whole Love, Food Podcast store here. All T-Shirt designs have at least one with size range options from XS to 5X. All proceeds go to funding this labor of love to keep it as a free resource for you.

Product links may be affiliate. If you click and make a purchase, there’s no extra cost to you.

The transcribed episode can be found here.

Episode’s Key Points:

  • Your feelings about being addicted to food are valid… BUT, it’s important to investigate WHY we feel that way, and to dig deeper.
  • We live in a world where controlling our food and having a certain body size are thought to go hand-in-hand. We think that if we eat less, we’re going to weigh less, and that people in larger bodies just don’t have “discipline” when it comes to food. But this just isn’t true!!
  • Internalized fatphobia and the desire to find acceptance in our thin-obsessed culture can drive us towards dieting, and the desire to restrict our food. It can also push us towards removing pleasure from our lives, whether it’s about food, sex, or anything else!
  • If we were allowed to embrace pleasure, I think that the feeling of addiction around food would change.
  • If we aren’t giving ourselves PERMISSION to have pleasure, we are going to subconsciously restrict and deprive ourselves of food.
  • This is not your fault! Our body pushes us to be preoccupied with food when we deprive ourselves of food. Restriction keeps the food-preoccupation going!!
  • Compassion and permission are key, not keeping ourselves “under control.”
  • Name the moments when food has too much power!!
  • Our bodies and our brains just want us to stay alive, and the feeling of food addiction is actually how our bodies continue to try and stay alive.
  • Remember, your needs aren’t a burden. You are NOT too needy! Redefine your expectations around meeting your needs.
  • Consider how thin privilege plays a role in feeling like we need to fix ourselves. Put the anger and the burden where it belongs! Not on us, but on the fatphobic society in which we live.
  • Strive for embodiment, pleasure, satisfaction, and compassion.
  • Patients with PCOS often experience even more intense feelings about being addicted to food, especially because most doctors encourage people with PCOS to cut out carbs. But carbs are not the enemy! By removing them from your diet, you just increase the need for them, and the feeling of being out of control around them.

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Thank you for listening to the Love, Food series.

The Should Eat Fantasy Compliance

How many diets have you been on? When was the first one? Most people have been dieting in some shape or form….or coming off a diet…or preparing to go back on a diet….for as long as they can remember.

Can you relate?

I believe we live in a culture that has trained us to distrust our bodies and think we need to follow orders to pick out dinner options. 

We should be eating this. We should be eating that. We must not eat this after 7, or else…

Or else what?

All these shoulds lead most of us toward shame, guilt and distrust of our own innate wisdom. You were born knowing how to eat and how much. All those diets disconnected you from that. 

You may be wondering, “But I feel so good when I am dieting, at least for a little while.”

Totally. Diets and preparing for them give the notion that things will be alright soon. Just the decision to embark on a diet can relax and calm you. Your head may feel clear for the first time in a long time.

The first few days or weeks of a diet can give off a buzz of excitement and kudos from well-meaning friends and family.

Can you feel it? That’s diet seduction.

And it is just a fantasy.

The reality is diets are only short term. They are unsustainable. This is not just a belief of mine rather evidenced-based in literally hundreds of research studies.

So why do you blame yourself for the diet ending?

If diets don’t work for most people, why do doctors and dietitians recommend them?

If diets are actually harmful long term…promoting weight cycling, higher insulin levels, higher triglycerides, higher blood sugars, depression, and negative body image….why are they recommended to improve health?

Those are important questions with a really nasty answer:

The world is so fat phobic that it cannot wrap its head around the notion that weight loss is not a behavior. And, medical science has yet to find ONE diet that works to promote health and promote maintenance long term for most people. Even more, this mind control is rooted in white supremacy and misogyny.

You see how people of size are treated in our world: chairs don’t fit, airplanes won’t accommodate, and culture hasn’t provided equal treatment in academia, the military, or employment.

This constant discrimination sends anyone trying to find a way to fit in. To find more ease in a world that says their body is not acceptable.

A fat body dieting is complying with the orders: eat this not that. Do all that it takes to weigh less. Even if it hurts.

And each time you comply with the orders, the fantasy of equal treatment and a better life fill your head.

This is The Should Eat Fantasy Compliance.

This is the reason why you keep getting sucked back into Diet Culture and it is so important. You are just doing what you are told while craving equality and decency.

Unfortunately The Should Eat Fantasy Compliance distracts us all from the facts that diets don’t work for most people and they are harmful. It also distracts us from the bigotry that comes from weight stigma, racism, and gender inequality. 

I want to stand with you radically rejecting diets and reconnecting to your own innate wisdom for health.

This week’s Love Food podcast episode (107) is one of my all time favorites because it gives you the tools to stand up to the villain. In this episode I go through the 4 pillars to Food Peace: permission, pleasure, consistency, and variety. Take a listen here or via your favorite pod catcher.

Until then, call out the real villain. And take off that shame cloak. It is not for you. It never was.

 

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help.

Listen to the Love Food podcast and find new ways to rewrite your fate with food and body.

You can find it on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, your fav pod catcher or right here.

Body Positive PCOS New Year Resolutions

Kimberly Singh, Julie’s resident nutrition grad student {{ also affected by PCOS! }} is back to blogging on PCOS topics. Enjoy!

Are you tired of new year resolutions related to weight loss yet wonder what else to focus on?

As the new year approaches you may find yourself surrounded by diet culture at its annual peak. This is particularly difficult time to avoid diets.

Here are are 5 New Year’s resolutions that will help your PCOS while maintaining a weight-neutral approach.

Experiment with giving yourself permission to eat.

Allow yourself to eat without restriction and rules. This is scary at first, but eliminating the rules will allow you to better listen to your body.

Take a leap of faith, and trust yourself to shake off the rules created by diet culture.

Eliminating food rules will even make eating a more wholesome experience that creates space for connection, creativity, and warmth around food.

Engage in movement that brings you joy.

Let your body be present and fully engaged in movement. Move in a way that lets you feel connected to your body.

Strip away the judgments about stamina, duration, and frequency.

Simply let your body be.

Eat enough protein.

Julie recommends that people with PCOS experiment with eating 10 to 20 grams of protein in the morning and evening. Shift your focus away from labeling foods as good versus bad, and focus on eating enough.

Observe how this change affects your energy levels and PCOS symptoms.

I have found it helpful to create a list of go-to meals with enough protein. I like to be ready for the unexpected, so my go-to meals range from take-out to super fancy recipes.

Observe how your body reacts to different foods.

Be your own scientist as your discover how to best manage your PCOS.

Be a neutral observer as you explore how you feel after you eat different types of foods. You may find it helpful to take notes throughout this process. Observe how specific foods affect your energy levels, mood, and appetite.

Remind yourself that you can use this information as you please. This does not mean that you have to eliminate any foods that do not leave you completely energized and satisfied.

Don’t be scared to say, “no.”

Say “no” to people, ideas, and healthcare professionals that are not serving you and your PCOS experience. Listen to your gut instinct.

Stepping away from experiences that are not serving you will create space for experiences that are aligned with your values.

Want to find a way to treat your PCOS without dieting?

Julie can show you how!

I’m recovering yet fat so why do I have to eat so much? {Ep 92}


Does the journey to food peace just feel too long? Have you been struggling to the point that it feels like it’s time to give up? Does thinking about food just make you tired? Are you struggling to make sure you eat enough every day? Listen now for some insight into this part of the food peace journey.

Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds.

This episode is brought to you by my online course, PCOS and Food Peace. Sign up now to get on the waitlist for the next enrollment period, and receive my FREE road map: Your First 3 Steps Toward Food Peace with PCOS. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

Episode’s Key Points:

  • Food can be boring. Sometimes eating can be a chore, and eating decisions can be exhausting, especially in recovery.
  • Permission, self-care, and just “being” are things that the recovery journey forces us to get familiar with. But they can be challenging, and this boredom and exhaustion around food can be a sign that you are struggling with those parts of food peace.
  • Recovery is like an upward spiral… it can sometimes feel like you’re going backwards, but that just means you’re about to make a breakthrough.
  • Continue to work on grounding yourself in ALL aspects our your life, not just with food! Use a barometer check to check in with your body throughout the day. Do you feel tired, anxious, or unhappy?
  • Remember, eating disorders are NOT about the food! It’s an indicator to us that a need isn’t being met.
  • What is our body trying to tell us???
  • Our brains have neuroplasticity!! This means we can change our brains to alter our habits.
  • Remember self-compassion in this process! Eventually, your mind and body will reconnect on its own.
  • Sometimes the exhaustion is related to decision fatigue. Try to conserve your energy for the important, life altering questions!
  • How are our experiences with food replicating our experience in other areas of our lives?
  • Try CBT in conjunction with this embodiment practice!
  • Remember, you may not always have the answer… and that’s okay!!

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Thank you for listening to the Love, Food series.