(139) I fear everyone judging what I eat (with Jenna Hollenstein)

Picture this: you are in a restaurant and really craving a burger. Or a salad. You freeze. Will people judge what you choose? Do you judge what other’s choose? And how does this get in the way of your Food Peace journey? Listen to this latest episode of Love Food with special guest Jenna Hollenstein RD author of Eat to Love.

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This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

This episode’s Dear Food letter:

Dear Food,

I have recently been on an uphill battle to try and fix our relationship. After countless years of living a secret life with an unacknowledged eating disorder- consisting largely of restricting and bingeing- I made the change to recognize and treat my disordered eating patterns. I have since been diagnosed with an eating disorder and am currently adventuring through the recovery process with a support system of professionals and loved ones.

Although I can feel and appreciate the changes that I’ve made and the growth that I’ve experienced, there is one recurring thought I cannot let go of. I feel that it is keeping me trapped in my eating disorder world. Currently, I am gradually increasing my food intake and attempting to diversify the types of food that I consume. However, I’m finding this to be a painfully difficult experience because I cannot stop thinking that everyone is constantly judging me for what I eat. Essentially, whenever I eat something, I believe that other people are thinking to themselves, “wow, look at her eating that…she is eating that because she is fat”. This thought is strongest if I were to ever eat food that is constructed as “unhealthy”, but is also present if I were to eat food that is constructed as “healthy” but consume a lot of it. For example, when I eat a restaurant, I fear finishing my plate because I assume that the wait staff will judge me for eating all of the food and will judge my body.

That being said, I understand that this is an illogical believe to have. I have countless pieces of objective evidence (e.g., from doctors, the number on the scale, the size of clothing I wear) that indicate that I am not fat, I am not overweight. Yet, this evidence doesn’t override my internal belief that my body is too big and that others are in agreeance with me. Throughout my recovery process, I have come to understand that I hold a strong core belief that my worth comes from my body and that I should always strive for a smaller body. I know this belief is problematic, but I can’t stop agreeing and believing it.

To add one other layer to this puzzle, this thought- where others judge my body and believe that I shouldn’t be eating because my body hasn’t achieved the thin ideal it has been striving for- is particularly difficult for me to let go of because I hold this judgment on others. I find myself judging others for what they eat and I tend to, in my mind, idealize those with small bodies and not hold them to this same judgment. This has been a difficult piece for me to accept because it makes me feel so sad and ashamed to think that I am doing to others what I fear others are doing to me. This fear has fueled so many problematic behaviors and I know it is so unfair for me to hold this judgment on others.

I am wondering how I can overcome this. How do I remove this judgment that I place on myself and on others? How do I let go of this tiring, inaccurate mind-reading game I am constantly playing? Will I ever accept my body and accept the fact that it deserves to eat food- and a variety of foods?


A life of judging and judgment

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

(137) Does set point mean I will always be fat? (with Stefani Reinold)

What does your body want to weigh? Have you heard of set point theory and wonder what it means for you and your body? Will it always look the way it does now? Or will it get smaller or larger? Listen to this latest episode of Love Food with special guest Stefani Reinold MD from the It’s Not About the Food Podcast.

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This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

This episode’s Dear Food letter:

Dear Food,
I began my intuitive eating journey recently with a non diet dietician who specializes in treating ED and PCOS. According to her you are not the enemy and once I get my PCOS under control and reject diet culture my body will return to my setpoint. I am oversimplifying but you get the point.
My problem is that for as long as I can remember I have always been fat so I don’t know that I trust that knowledge. Could it be that there are people whose set points are in the “morbidly obese” range?
Well I guess I was a normal weight once until about age 5. At 5 I was the tallest girl in class. Taller than all the boys even and yes heavier. I wasn’t overweight just much taller than all the rest but adults would comment when they went to pick me up I was too heavy. I was too tall at my 8th birthday for the ball pit my parents had paid so much to reserve for my birthday. I was so “big”. They meant tall but I thought they meant fat.
I started gaining weight because my main abuser didn’t like fat girls and found them unattractive. Back then you were my friend because you protected me from him and most men and cat calls. Now I see I built my own prison and am left wondering if some people don’t have a healthy set point?
Confused in Cleveland

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

The PCOS and Food Peace Podcast is finally here!

Tired of diets that don’t work to treat your PCOS?

Feel chaotic around food yet think you HAVE to diet?

Feel shame for your food cravings, bingeing, and body size while living with PCOS?

We have a podcast for you.

Kimmie Singh and I have put together 10 special episodes to form the PCOS and Food Peace Podcast. Each chapter features an interesting person affected by PCOS and their lived experiences. We also sort through a listener question within each episode on topics like exercise, cravings, mental health, infertility, finding good doctors, diabetes, and so much more!

We are currently waiting for the podcast to be approved *eyeroll* by Apple Podcasts and they are taking their sweet ass time. Thankfully, you can listen to all the episodes NOW via my website or on Spotify.

This particular episode on this page is a great place to start. It gives you all the meaty details about the show and a glimpse into each episode.

Let us know what you think!

The PCOS and Food Peace Podcast is brought to you by Julie’s PCOS and Food Peace course. Get 25% off using the coupon code ‘podcast’ at check out. Get all the details here:

Did you enjoy the podcast? Leave us a rating, review, subscribe or share the podcast! Doing these small acts of kindness help the show grow and connect more with the concept of Food Peace.


Thank you to Theralogix, the makers of Ovasitol, for sponsoring the podcast.

  • Ovasitol is an inositol supplement with a blend of myo-inositol and D-chiro-inositol, in the body’s optimal ratio of 40 to 1.
  • Inositols are nutrients that help to decrease insulin resistance, promote menstrual regularity, restore ovulation, and balance hormone levels.
  • In convenient powder form, Ovasitol can be enjoyed in your favorite beverage or smoothie.
  • Available in both a canister and convenient single-serving packets, Ovasitol contains 100% pure inositols, with no additives.
  • Read our blog post about what Inositols can do to help your PCOS.
  • Order online today at theralogix.com. During checkout, use “PRC” code 127410 for an exclusive PCOS and Food Peace Podcast discount.
  • Enter to win a 90-day supply here! (We will be picking 4 random emails from those who enter during September 2018. All will be notified via email.)

Alive and Well Podcast: A Healthy Perspective on Nutrition

Hello there! I was recently interviewed as a guest on the Alive & Well podcast regarding nutrition and health promoting ways to think about the food we eat. You can listen to the podcast here: http://aliveandwellpodcast.com/julie-dillon/ or scroll below for the highlights 🙂 I hope it provides more mojo for your Food Peace journey.

A few main points that were discussed:

  • You’re not failing the diet, the diet is failing you.<— Such a key point!!
  • The keys to health are the food peace journey and intuitive eating. <—Not dieting!
  • It’s important to give yourself unconditional permission to eat. <—-It’s not letting yourself go. It’s letting yourself BE!

Highlights of the podcast include:

The Food Peace Journey

“So many people believe that if they’re not dieting, they’re letting themselves go. That’s simply not the case. We’re all born knowing what to eat and how much, but we lose that along the way.”

“The journey usually feels more like counseling than a diet regimen. It’s about helping us understand why we view food the way we do.”

“Intuitive eating is a big piece of this as well. It’s simply finding a way to rely on your own hunger and fullness cues and establishing ways outside of eating to cope with emotions, while also having permission to eat what you want.”

Losing Weight as a Part of the Food Peace Journey

“Weight loss isn’t a behavior and it’s not the goal of the journey, which is hard for a lot of people to accept. Some people’s body weight, as they make peace with food, really won’t change much. We have to get to a place where we respect that our bodies may not change even when we’re living a healthy lifestyle.”

Navigating the Unconditional Permission to Eat

“Unconditional permission to eat scares a lot of people. The more our brain is exposed to a food, the less our brain gets excited about it. Our brain is always rooting for us to have a variety of foods so when we get used to a certain food, we no longer crave it. That’s why we generally don’t want to eat the same food multiple days or weeks in a row.”

“Relationships are equally or more important than the food you eat, so when you keep yourself from eating food and generate a craving for it, you give it more power than it should have.”

Disordered Eating and Eating Disorders for Women in Mid-Life

“Eating disorders do not only affect young women. Many, many women begin an unhealthy view of food and eating disorder midway through life, or around 45 years of age.”

“These eating disorders are often caused by big life changes such as moving, divorce, or a change in career. Thirteen percent of women in midlife experience the effects of some sort of eating disorder.”

Alive & Well is brought to you by Natural Healthy Concepts (NHC), a vitamin and supplement store that sells a wide variety of quality professional and retail brands. Its website features health and wellness blog posts about many topics. Check out other episodes on iTunes or Soundcloud.

The Nurtured Mama Podcast

Hello there! I was recently on the Nurtured Mama Podcast sharing my story of becoming a mother, growing my family and fielding comments about my body throughout the journey to motherhood.

As an expert in PCOS, food behavior and body image, I also share how I came to specialize in PCOS, why dieting is harmful to women with PCOS and how they can manage their symptoms WITHOUT dieting. Listen here now!