Going home harms my relationship with food. (Ep 111)

Are you having success with healing your relationship with food, but are worried that going back into a toxic environment will jeopardize your newfound peace? Listen now to get my tips on how to approach this part of the Food Peace™ journey.

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This episode is brought to you by my online course, Your Step-by-Step Guide to PCOS and Food Peace™. Sign up now to get on the waitlist for the next enrollment period in April, and receive my FREE road map: Your First 3 Steps Toward Food Peace™ with PCOS. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

This episode is also brought to you by my new Fat-Positive Dietitian t-shirt and mug! All proceeds go to funding this labor of love to keep it as a free resource for you.

Product links may be affiliate. If you click and make a purchase, there’s no extra cost to you.

The transcribed episode can be found here.

Episode’s Key Points:

  • Our relationship with food is a window into our unmet needs!
  • Instead of trying to avoid vulnerability, try sticking with it. It will help you tap into your own innate wisdom, and help guide you towards what you need to do next.
  • It’s time to investigate our unmet need. Food can help distract us when we’re going through challenging times, but figuring out the unmet need can provide some lasting relief. This strategy is called the Food Decoding Method!
  • Chronic illness is a tough experience on everyone, not just the person struggling with the pain. Remember that, and give yourself some compassion.
  • Hardship and health conditions are difficult, but they are NOT caused by being in a larger body. There’s a relationship between body size and illness, but there’s no research out there to prove that being in a larger body leads to ill health. In fact, there are lots of factors, like weight stigma, that aren’t even considered in classic weight research.
  • Ending a relationship with your therapist is hard, but even going to a few sessions is worth it.
  • Explore the option of online therapy providers! Some of my colleagues doing virtual work include Christy Harrison, Erica Leon, and Paige Smathers.
  • You don’t have to have your shit together. Transitions are messy, and adjustments take time!

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Thank you for listening to the Love, Food series.

My past trauma keeps me from healing my relationship with food (Ep 110 with Julie Church and Kara Bazzi)

Are you struggling to accept your body size, even though you’ve made peace with food? Is past trauma still affecting our ability to find true and lasting recovery? Julie Church and Kara Bazzi join me to break down this part of the Food Peace™ journey.

Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds.

This episode is brought to you by my online course, Your Step-by-Step Guide to PCOS and Food Peace™. Sign up now to get on the waitlist for the next enrollment period in April, and receive my FREE road map: Your First 3 Steps Toward Food Peace™ with PCOS. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how

Product links may be affiliate. If you click and make a purchase, there’s no extra cost to you.

Episode’s Key Points:

  • Working with a dietitian and therapist TEAM is so important for full recovery! Julie Church, RD, and Kara Bazzi, therapist, from Opal: Food + Body Wisdom Center join us to talk about this week’s letter.
  • Our eating behaviors are coping mechanisms, and sometimes we have to engage in some disordered behaviors to protect ourselves.
  • Shifting our relationship with our body is SO hard, especially when body hatred has plagued us for so long.
  • Seeking healing means there’s HOPE to find further growth and peace!
  • Our world is so, SO fatphobic, and it wrongly connects our weight to our health and our self-worth. Part of the work is disconnecting weight from these other factors.
  • Making peace with food and acting in self-care through nourishing ourselves does NOT mean you will lose weight, and it does NOT mean you’ll be in a smaller body! Food peace doesn’t equate to thinness.
  • Support yourself through this weight bias we experience by finding community. Advocate for yourself, and demand respect for your body! You deserve safe relationships.
  • Interrogate what’s behind the body hatred! Trauma, weight bias… these things can contribute to us not feeling safe in our bodies and disrupt our body image. Part of the process is striving for a more relational relationship with our bodies. Investigate some somatic work, and dig deep.

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Thank you for listening to the Love, Food series.

I have always felt ashamed of my body. {with Antonia Hartley}

Do you feel shame around your relationship with food and your body? Are you worried about disclosing your eating behavior to a current partner or loved one? Do you find yourself thinking about food all the time? Listen now for some concrete solutions to overcome these barriers to food peace.

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This episode is brought to you by Pursuing Private Practice Masterclass.

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Episode’s Key Points:

  • Shame is so common in the eating disorder experience!!
  • Antonia Hartley joins to help tackle this letter writer’s struggles…
  • Eating disorders make us feel so alone and isolated, but there are many people dealing with the same issues.
  • Insight and awareness are vital to finding recovery and healing, but it can only take you so far. It’s important to work with a dietitian or other eating disorder professional to find lasting recovery and make changes!
  • Finding a Health at Every Size dietitian to work with is SUPER important to make sure you’re in a safe environment to find help.
  • If you’re thinking about food all day long, definitely inquire if you’re eating enough! Sometimes restriction is physical or mental, and adequacy with food is very important!! If you’re bingeing, it’s likely that you’re NOT getting enough, no matter what size you are.
  • It’s NOT as simple as calories in, calories out. Our metabolism is MUCH more complicated than that!
  • Sometimes there is fear in letting go of our eating disorder because there is a small part of us that feels these diet rules are serving us in some way… but they’re not!
  • “Honesty is the antithesis of eating disorder behavior.” – Antonia
  • Relationships are SO important in eating disorder recovery! Be honest with those you love, and set the boundaries around triggers.
  • Eating behaviors can be a messenger for our emotions or our needs… listen to them!
  • If you’re in a situation where someone in your life is consistently triggering you, don’t be afraid to bring them into a therapy session with you to parse out exactly what you need from them as a loved one. Remember, we live in diet-culture world, so give your loved ones some time to adjust to this new way of life!
  • Be aware of your own internalized fat stigma when exploring recovery.
  • You weren’t born with food rules!! These are LEARNED behaviors and “truths.”
  • Checking back in with your treatment team post-recovery is SO important! Remember, we live in a world that hasn’t recovered from its own eating disorder, so having a supportive community around you is essential for maintaining recovery.
  • On feminism: Feminism is for everyone, not just women! Ending sexism is good for everyone.
  • Ending weight stigma helps everyone!

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Thank you for listening to the Love, Food series.

I want to hide my bad habits from my kids {with Lindsay Stenovec}

Do you deal with binge eating? Did you experience bullying, specifically within your own family, that relates to your body shape or size? Have you experienced sexual abuse, and feel that it has impacted your relationship with food and your body? Are you trying to set a healthy example for your own children after having a difficult relationship with food in your past? Listen now for some expert advice on how to cope with these body trust struggles.

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Check out this summer’s special blog post series: Empowering Your PCOS Journey. It aims to help you understand PCOS, improve your relationship with food, and advocate for better care. You will be hearing from nutrition grad student Kimberly Singh and her experiences with PCOS as well as evidenced based info to help arm yourself with the most up-to-date research. Find it here now: JulieDillonRD.com/PCOSseries

Episode’s Key Points:

  • Sometimes our family environments can be just as toxic as this culture that we live in… remember, we ALL live in diet culture!! But that doesn’t make our family’s actions okay.
  • Abuse, physical or mental, can have a profound impact on our relationship with food and our body.
  • Lindsay Stenovec of The Nurtured Mama joins to talk about the complex interactions of motherhood and our relationship with food!
  • Processing this kind of trauma is essential… find a therapist to work through these difficult emotions and to help you cope with your past!
  • Sometimes we use food to cope with our emotions… this is totally understandable, but we can take steps to help heal this part of our relationship with food if we find it interfering with us living our lives.
  • We are all doing the very best that we can under our own circumstances! This doesn’t make us a failure or a fraud.
  • How do we feed others when we’ve had such a fraught relationship with food and body ourselves?
  • As parents, we do our best to shield our children from pain, especially from pain that we have experienced ourselves. Many mamas are trying to shield their children from the pain that they themselves experienced in relation to food and body… but sometimes this backfires when parents do so by trying to get their children to lose weight or to eat in a “perfect” way.
  • Feeling acceptable is SO important to finding body peace and body trust! Instead of repeating the same cycle of trying to control your own child’s food intake or body shape, focus on the unconditional acceptance you have for your child and help them to foster this body acceptance in themselves, no matter the outside influences.
  • We should ALWAYS feel safe at home, even if we live in diet-culture world!
  • We’re all just doing the best that we can!!
  • What does it mean to eat in a “healthy” way? How do we make peace with food and our bodies?
  • Ellyn Satter’s definition of normal eating is a helpful resource!!
  • Healthy eating is more about being connected to life, not about what we put in our bodies.
  • Our relationship with food and our bodies is about very complicated, difficult, and personal truths. It has to do with the food, but it also doesn’t! Our past has a HUGE impact on all of this, and it’s SO important to find support around figuring all of this stuff out. Find a trauma, Health at Every Size, and eating-disorder-trained therapist or dietitian to help you along this journey!!
  • Raising children brings up the difficult parts in ourselves that still need more work.
  • Going to therapy is a BRAVE choice! It is hard, but it gives us the tools to move forward in our lives and find healing.
  • Stress, discomfort, and feeling like a fraud are messages from our body! These emotions mean there is something that needs to be addressed within.
  • Secretive eating, shame, and hiding of food is an understandable reaction to growing up in an environment that body and food shamed you! The important question is not, “How do I stop,” but, “What do these actions tell me about my needs?”
  • Sometimes we don’t learn sustainable coping skills as a child… therapy can help us bolster our toolbox of coping mechanisms as adults!
  • Normal eating is FLEXIBLE!!! Normal eating is trusting our body to make up for our “mistakes” in our eating, and being compassionate about our choices.
  • In the end, it is JUST food.
  • When you trust your body to take care of yourself, it’ll do the best that it can.

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Thank you for listening to the Love, Food series.

I only eat in front of the TV + want to change. {with Rachel Cole}

Do you tend to eat on the couch and with distractions, rather than at the dining room table? Are you someone that avoids the dining room table because of past trauma related to mealtime? Are you just trying to navigate this whole food peace journey, and are looking for some direction? Listen now for some steps you can take today.

Subscribe and leave a review here in just seconds.

Check out this summer’s special blog post series: Empowering Your PCOS Journey. It aims to help you understand PCOS, improve your relationship with food, and advocate for better care. You will be hearing from nutrition grad student Kimberly Singh and her experiences with PCOS as well as evidenced based info to help arm yourself with the most up-to-date research.

We are so excited to release our first blog post on Wednesday June 14th.

Episode’s Key Points:

  • Vulnerability is a part of healing our relationship with food, but there is also a time and place for NOT being vulnerable! It’s all about balance.
  • Rachel Cole joins to talk more about vulnerability and food peace!
  • Having a nourishing and safe place during mealtime as a child is super important! If we don’t have that, it can really impact our relationship with food and eating in adulthood.
  • Expand your choices!! Your food behavior shouldn’t be dictated but “should’s,” but instead by what you honestly want to do.
  • There’s a time and a place for non-distracted eating, but don’t force it!
  • Eat where you feel SAFE.
  • There’s no timeline, should’s, or black and white thinking… it’s all about being “choiceful!”
  • Pleasure is an important part of the eating experience, and we should embrace that. Make sure that the food you’re eating is something that you WANT to experience.
  • How do we re-parent our traumatized childhood selves without giving them all the power? Reach out to a therapist to work through this struggle, and have an active dialogue with that child!
  • Put in the effort to make the dining area welcoming and safe… create a warm environment, and make the area available to you with zero pressure to eat there.
  • Make small steps… what would it be like to have one meal at the table? Or just a cup of tea? Start with the lowest hanging fruit! Immerse yourself in the experience with non-judgmental awareness.
  • We should strive to make ALL areas of our literal and metaphorical houses welcoming and comfortable for us.
  • Have compassion for the ways that we take care of ourselves, even if our coping mechanisms aren’t the most sustainable!!
  • If your experience doesn’t feel good, start getting curious about what would make it feel better.
  • EXPERIMENT!! Explore, get feedback from your body and your emotions, and continue to check in.
  • We are the expert of our own bodies… connect to your body, embrace embodiment, and explore body trust!
  • Listen to a podcast or invite or call a friend while eating if you’re feeling lonely and want company, and don’t feel like watching the television.
  • Don’t be afraid to reach out for support in any capacity to help you through this food peace journey!

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

Thank you for listening to the Love, Food series.