The First Dear Food Letter

Ep 001 ImageDo you have a complicated relationship with food?

Do you struggle with chaotic eating yet been on every diet under the sun? If so, my Love, Food podcast series is made for you! I am launching the series Monday January 25th and I can’t wait for you to listen. And, I have always been that person who can’t WAIT to unwrap a present and so, here is a sneak peak.

What follows is the first Dear Food letter I use in Episode 001. You get to hear this episode plus two more on January 25th. Read over this letter and let me know what advice you’d give.

Do you have a Dear Food letter??

Email it to me at LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com and I may {anonymously} answer it on another episode. Here’s episode 001’s letter from Dreading Another Diet:

Dear Food,
I am having a hard time beginning this letter. I am dreading tomorrow, the day I start another diet. Yet another diet.

I used to get excited to start a new diet, read up on the how-to and go shopping to get my house stocked with these new right foods. With all this adrenaline and direction, I would for once feel calm. I would talk ad nauseum to my friends about this new diet and try to convince them to join with me. If I could, we would bond over menu planning and dream about our soon to be new skinny jeans. The preparing to diet was such fun!

So why do I feel so shitty now?

I met with my mom today and she told me how concerned she is about my health. I am a large woman, 5’6” and 233 pounds this morning. We were together celebrating my 38th birthday and she kept giving me the stink eye when I ate something other than celery. She didn’t need to tell me she felt ashamed of my body; I could feel it without words.

After lunch, my mom mentioned a new weight loss center in town and maybe it could help me lose weight. As she spoke about it, and the myriad of reasons why I need to lose weight, I felt like a 7 year old again. She was talking to me like I have never tried to lose weight before and that I don’t try. I have tried since I was a little girl! I have dieted in some shape or form since I was 7 when the pediatrician told my mom to stop giving me seconds because I was too fat. I look at pictures of that 7 year old and I see the shame she feels. I still feel it, Food.

So why do I feel so shitty now? I am not excited for this diet yet feel forced again to start. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin and I want to be healthy. But as I recount each diet, each ended with a massive binge or two or three. Sometimes I binged all night or when my young boys were still at school. After each diet crashed and burned, I longed to be alone just so I could be surrounded by you Food. One thing I couldn’t do for awhile after a diet was eat in front of most people. I was too ashamed that I wasn’t dieting and I was still fat. If I did eat in front of someone, I just ate salads. At least I could convince them I was still working on my weight.

I did share some of this the other day with my friend. She is a therapist and she said I may have something called binge eating disorder. So now, food, you are causing neurosis? Making me officially crazy AND fat? How come I am the only one doing it wrong?

I don’t want to feel shitty and I know I need to eat. What do I do?

Regards,

Dreading another diet

The Love, Food Podcast launches January 25th. Hear what I have to say to Dreading and listen to Food’s advice. Be sure to subscribe and leave a review.

Do you have a complicated relationship with food and want some advice? Write Food a letter and it will write you back. Send your letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com.