How do you navigate a fat phobic world without support? This episode’s letter writer just started college and recovering from an eating disorder. And it is hard! College campus can be a hub for overexercise, bad body talk, and diets. Listen as I chat with Ayana Habtemariam from Truly Real Nutrition about ways to navigate this part of your Food Peace journey.
I have battled with you for almost three years now. This weekend actually marks one year of choosing recovery. Choosing to fight Anorexia Nervosa was the best decision I have made, but I did not realize it was going to be so hard and long. I was a senior in high school when I began recovery, but I knew no matter what I HAD to go to college. My parents talked about me taking a gap year in between high school and college to focus on my relationship with you, but that is not the usual in my small town. Thankfully, I am in college now at a university just down the road from my house. I thought my battle with you would be completely over once I left home, but honestly it has just gotten worse. Living on my own means making my own meals and keeping myself accountable. Diet culture is so loud here; I feel like I find you to be a part of every single conversation. It makes me feel hopeless in such a challenging and lonely environment. The school gym is just steps from my dorm—I usually find myself there after a bad meal with you or a hard exam. Why do you attack specifically college students? College is already difficult and adding fear of food and fatphobia makes it even harder. I know it is not just me too that has this struggle, but no one speaks out about it. I am at a loss of how to keep motivation and pushing forward in such a challenging community.
New to Intuitive Eating? Welcome. Together we can help you move away from diets, diet culture, body hate, and the myth of the thin ideal. Intuitive eating is exciting AND scary. Avoid these pitfalls while cultivating other concepts described in this latest Love Food podcast episode.
What’s the harm with focusing on eating clean? Notice the tension it brings. Has it been the gateway for you to feel out of control with food? There is another way! Listen to this latest Love Food Podcast episode to find a new way to relate to food and your body.
I’ve been obsessed with clean food in the past and always distinguish between “bad food and good food.” Because of that I found myself in a binge and purge cycle all of the time. Now I have lost my control I gained XX in 5 months, and I feel anxiety, depression, I feel body dysmorphia. I’m sick with all of this. People around me don’t understand and don’t support me.
No support makes it so hard to recover and I don’t know how and what I should do to recover. I have watched and read everything about eating disorders but they don’t tell me specifically what to do. I hope that you can help me to figure this out.
The road to Food Peace is not all rainbows and butterflies. Most will experience rejection, body hate, and complicated ways of eating. If you come from that place and journeying toward intuitive eating, you may crave more control in the process. I made this week’s Love Food Podcast episode just for you.
Our relationship has been complicated since before I can remember. I’ve been overweight my entire life and you have always been the one i put the blame on. I was very young when i was told you were bad for me. I knew to stay away from carbs and sweets before i went to grade school. My mother lived for diet culture. Every month it was a new diet and I was always forced to participate. The diets never worked. I couldn’t stay away from you. Although i knew i was overweight i never wanted to admit it. I was ashamed of the word fat. After my dad passed away our bond grew closer. We were now best friends. You were there for the tears and you were there for the laughs. I used you as my crutch to get me out of a dark place. After a year i realized that we needed a break. My clothes were tighter, i went up pant sizes, and the pictures from spring fling made me want to vomit. I didnt want to be the fat girl any more. At 16 years old i just wanted to fit in. So I lost Xlbs, i joined the dance team, and the cheer squad. I was still overweight but i felt good about myself and all of the new friends i made. I managed to keep the Xlbs off for 2 years until I graduated. That’s when i started working and could start to feed myself. I ate fast food every night after work. I loved it. I had never been able to experience this. As a child i rarely got fast food because our family was always on a diet. I couldn’t control myself. Sometimes I’d get fast food multiple times a day. Before i knew it the Xlbs were back. I managed to not gain anymore weight for about 4 years. Then i married my husband and my relationship with food went sour. I gained Xlbs over the first year i was married. I remember hearing the doctor say my weight and i almost fell to the floor. How could this happen? Ive been overeating for years and i never gained anything. I knew a change needed to happen. But how? I started dieting. I would spend hours planning meals and snacks for the week but that grew tiresome fast. I figured I’d try keto everyone raves about how easy it is. It didnt matter what diet i did i always managed to overeat to the point of being sick. I heard about intuitive eating from a friend at the gym and she suggested i Look into it. Once again i find myself binging on unhealthy snacks. I’ve been desperately trying to rebuild a healthy relationship with food but some how i always find myself in the fridge eating until my stomach cant handle anymore. I’m lost and confused. I am frustrated and desperate to get control of my life again.
Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com.
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