(218) How do I eat “right” with diabetes with Glenys Oyston

Looking for the right way to eat and exercise for your diabetes? Know this: there is no one right way to do diabetes self-care. Glenys Oyston is our guest on this Love Food Podcast episode and during the month of May we are focusing on anti-diet diabetes conversations. Join us!

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This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

Do you own a social justice informed business? Are you a fat positive business owner? I would like to give you the first opportunity to advertise on the Love Food Podcast. Check out the details here: JulieDillonRD.com/LoveFoodSponsor

This episode’s Dear Food letter:

Dear food,

I can't stop snacking,  and eating fast food. I have diabetes,  and need to make better choices. Lately I'm in a heavy food eating, which leads me to be sleepy and inactive. My diabetes dietitian focuses on counting carbs, and I haven't counted carbs in years. I've given up and given in to the cravings. I've gained weight, watched my blood pressure rise, and my eyes fill with sadness when I look in the mirror and wonder how much over X pounds is on my 5ft frame. I actually feel afraid for my heart and all the extra work it has to do now while my weight continues to rise.  There have been times when I actually enjoyed drinking "green drinks," and having my brain and body feel healthy. Grilling out, experimenting with recipes, yoga, swimming, and such.  I know my food choices today make my vision blurry,  blood sugar high, and cause me to make not so good decisions because my brain isn't as clear when I  "exercise and eat right. " I want a strong body again. I want to find joy in a walk or kayaking or fitting comfortable in a booth having brunch with friends.   How do I get back to that?  How do I get back to wanting the healthy choices, the joy in experimenting with fruits, vegetables,  protein, and fats in recipes? How with limited insurance and temporary employment do I find a good dietitian?  Right now I feel like you food have won. You are keeping me hostage in a body that isn't strong, and  makes me physically uncomfortable,  and feeds my diabetes instead of my spirit. Lost my way & afraid for my life...

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

(217) The tug of war with diabetes and ED recovery with Lauren Newman

How do you continue to move toward Food Peace while diagnosed with a medical condition??? Are you one of the many torn with making peace with food while hearing LOUD recommendations to restrict certain foods or pursue weight loss? We want help. Listen to latest Love Food Podcast episode featuring dietitian Lauren Newman.

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This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

Do you own a social justice informed business? Are you a fat positive business owner? I would like to give you the first opportunity to advertise on the Love Food Podcast. Check out the details here: JulieDillonRD.com/LoveFoodSponsor

This episode’s Dear Food letter:

Deer food,

It feels like we’re stuck in a power struggle, and there’s not much peace available in a power struggle.
I work really hard to pay attention to what I need, name it, and get it for my body. It took a long time to get here, with a restrictive eating disorder, PCOS and diabetes diagnosis and treatments (including Food Peace!), and an infinifat body (US32+). I’m proud of what I’ve learned to do for myself.
But you’re always whispering about the sort of lessons I got when I was diagnosed with diabetes, and then when I was pregnant. You whisper threats of death from medical staff and family alike. You whisper about carb counting. You whisper threats of losing my kidneys because I probably need insulin instead of expensive non-insulin drugs that affect my appetite (and apparently not my blood sugar).
You whisper that there’s no way to get enough calories for your body if you restrict carbs. You whisper that there’s no way to eat that would make each of my physical health issues better. You whisper so much about carb counting as the only way to live with you. It gets echoed everywhere.
 I keep thinking if the power struggle could stop – for real – it would be such a relief. We could be together without one of us pulling on the other. We could have fun, we could forget what others might say about us.

I know I can’t quit you. I need you. How can I get you to stop repeating the threats that people say? Is it really possible for us to work together? 
Right now, even with all the knowledge I have, it still feels like I have to choose between ways to be sick.
Love,
Torn

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

(216) I can’t stop binge eating with diabetes

How long have you been in the cycle of binge eating and self-loathing? This episode’s letter writer describes constant guilt and shame as she tries move away from binge eating and manage her diabetes. Do you feel addicted to food and struggle to manage your blood sugar? This episode is made for you.

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This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

Do you own a social justice informed and fat positive business? I would love to give you the first opportunity to advertise on the Love Food Podcast. Get all the details here.

Dear Food,

I can’t remember the last time you and I were together and I didn’t feel guilty.  I’m 42 now and that makes me feel really sad.  
Until recently, I hadn’t really weighed the consequences of what withholding and restricting  you or what binging with you was doing to my body and ultimately my soul. Years ago, in a group therapy session that I hated going to, I listened to an alcoholic describe what he did with alcohol. After work, he would binge drink beer until he passed out, only to wake up and do it all over again the next night. That’s what I did with food.  
About six months ago, I was diagnosed with diabetes.  I burst out crying in my doctors office. She told me gently that it wasn’t my fault, but I don’t believe her. I have done so many horrible, shameful things with food.   
When I was 17, I went to my family doctor with an article from Cosmo that described PCOS.  “I have this!” I told him confidently.  He laughed me off.  After much pushing and shoving, horrible internal ultrasounds, humiliating facial hair and losing the hair on the top of my head, I was diagnosed at 23.  
When I received the diagnosis, I got on the scale and then the nurse took my pulse. “Ahh, an athlete, your pulse is so low.” I smiled and nodded. I was in the midst of a full blown eating disorder and living on Diet Coke, cigarettes and melba toast. For seven years I restricted my food intake – no one knew. I was praised for my appearance, and “willpower”. I really wanted to die.  
After a big break up and a big move to a new city and grad school, things began to change. I stopped working out around the clock. I started to eat three meals a day, and snacks on top of that.. Suddenly, food became such a comfort. It helped with the stress of work and studying. It helped with the loneliness and confusion I was feeling. Feeling stuffed felt better than falling in love.  
For ten years I cycled through the binging and self-loathing. I gained weight, I got depressed, I was put on anti-depressants, I gained more weight, I got more depressed.  Sometimes I wonder if the sugar shock I would give myself mimicked the same dopamine surge of my medication. For a long time, I put myself on a roller coaster ride of hormones and sugar crashes, sugar comas, heartburn, indigestion, anxiety attacks, and deep depressions.  Food has been the constant in my life.  
So here we are, lots of years later, trying earnestly to understand why I binge eat and how to stop it. Doctors have sent me to nutritionists who has described how important portion control is. It makes me feel angry.  I feel so ashamed.  I can’t tell anyone I’m diabetic.  If I eat keto, my blood sugars stabilize, but nothing about keto feels good to me.  I am so jealous of people who can eat in balance and harmony and not in the extremes. I don’t know how to do it.  
I don’t know how to feed myself without hurting or denying myself.  I don’t know what feels good anymore. I’d like to address my diabetes through my food because I believe it is the source of the issue. I wish my doctors had given me a blood meter when I was prediabetic, so I could have started the learning process then. I wish there was more information about the emotional side of PCOS and more research into emotional eating.  I’m trying to see this as a message my body is sending me. How can I listen now with kind ears and compassion? 

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

(215) What do I do with all these negative thoughts? (with Elizabeth Armstrong)

Food is fuel and so much more. It is ok that food connects us to those warm fuzzy things in life–friends, family, pleasure, and humanity. Want to make this step on your Food Peace Journey? Listen here now to the latest Love Food Podcast episode featuring guest expert Elizabeth Armstrong.

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This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

I want to learn more about you! I would love if you could take the 2020 Love Food survey: access it here: JulieDillonRD.com/Survey. Open until March 31, 2020.

Check out my friend Summer Innanen’s FREE Body Acceptance Masterclass. You will learn:

  •  The 3 biggest mistakes people make when doing body acceptance work (and why they keep you stuck feeling bad about your body)
  • Her 6-Part Framework for radically changing the way you feel about yourself and believing you are good enough regardless of your body size 
  • Why it is possible for YOU (yes, YOU) to accept your body and feel more confident in who you are.

Learn more about Summer’s Masterclass (aff) here: JulieDillonRD.com/FREEmasterclass

This episode’s Dear Food letter:

Dear Food,
You have, and always will be, such a big part of life and identity. Growing up in an Indian household, you were everything – we would spend hours preparing delicious meals to eat and share with other people. My mum was an exceptional cook who loved nothing more than to research recipes to try out on me and her friends. Food, you are there in so many of my best childhood memories – going out for ice cream sundaes on the weekend, discovering the magic of baking, and making cheese toast as a midnight snack with my dad. 
But now, at the age of 36, having battled with weight for as long as I can remember, and trying to figure out my PCOS, I realise that our relationship is really complicated. While you have brought me so much joy, you also come with a ton of fear and anxiety for me. I remember calorie counting with my mum in my early teens, being praised for controlling what I ate, and family members commenting on my body whether I had lost or gained weight. Food, I have starved myself of you so many times, and this always results in me punishing myself through binging and exercising. I’m tired of weight loss taking up so much of my headspace. I’m working really hard to get some neutrality on all of this but sometimes, even just noticing a shirt doesn’t button up right anymore can set about a heap of negative thoughts.
From 
Working really hard

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!

(214) How does food insecurity and disability affect Food Peace? (with Veronica Garnett)

Most people with a complicated relationship with food are at diet rock bottom yet what if you have never dieted? Experiences with food insecurity that will have a similar effect. This is a valid place on the Food Peace Journey™ and let’s discuss Intuitive Eating tools to aid your recovery with guest expert Veronica Garnett @DiasporadicalKitchen on Instagram.

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This episode is brought to you by my courses: PCOS and Food Peace and Dietitians PCOS and Food Peace. You CAN make peace with food even with PCOS and I want to show you how.

I want to learn more about you! I would love if you could take the 2020 Love Food survey: access it here: JulieDillonRD.com/Survey. Open until March 31, 2020.

Do you own a social justice informed business? Are you a fat positive business owner? I would like to give you the first opportunity to advertise on the Love Food Podcast. Check out the details here: JulieDillonRD.com/LoveFoodSponsor

This episode’s Dear Food letter:

Deer food,
I’ve struggled with you pretty much all of my life. I never dieted but I have always been a rebel. I hid food, snook it, or just ate too much in general. At least it’s what other people would call too much. I’m also visually impaired. Dieting just seems ridiculous to me especially since I couldn’t read calories or other food label information. Of course I could’ve had someone read it to me but I could never see myself giving up sweets.  or even cutting back. I don’t like fast food. One of the stereotypes of fat people or people in larger bodies is that they eat too much fast food. This wasn’t true for me. My mom loved cooking when she had time but she rarely did. She worked a lot. When she would cook most of the food would go to waste because my brother, sister, and stepdad always wanted fast food. If my mom is at work and there wasn’t any money to be used on fast food my stepdad would cook something but no sides. It never felt enough. Now I can eat chicken with out the side and it’s no big deal but that then I always wanted my mom’s good side dishes. We were also pretty poor. Food insecurity was hard. They were also times were my stepdad sister and sometimes my brother would leave and not tell me. Most the time it would be to go to pick my mom up from work but sometimes it would be to go to other places. If my mom wasn’t with them and they would stop and get food during those times they were either forget about me or get me something that I didn’t wind up liking. I’m kind of a picky eater. My mom would remember to always make sure it was something I liked if they would stop and get fast food. I also went to the Maryland school for the blind during weekdays starting through my fifth grade year. It was pretty good there because there was always good food around or at least I would have peanut butter and bread to make a sandwich. I was disappointed that there were less snacks but at least there were some and I wouldn’t feel like I would have to eat them quick to keep them from being on within the next day or two because of my brothers friends Who would come over. Speaking of my brother, he also bullied me about my weight. That’s when most of the rebellion really amped up. There is a lot more in my childhood and young adult life that led to a bad relationship with food such as the times when I helped my friend out with food when she lost her food stamp card and we live together but they didn’t help me when they found it. I was stuck eating just mashed potatoes and crackers during those times. I digress though for the sake of time.
Just a few months ago I found out about Intuit is eating and health at every size. I came to it because of a book that was recommended to me to deal with the triggering conversations that were happening about my weight. One of those triggering conversations was with my uncle Tom who is one of the nicest and most beautiful people but he still caught up in diet culture because doesn’t want me to diet but he does want me to cut my portions back and he expects that I lose weight. I know the main reason is because he’s afraid of losing me because I’m the only one he trusts. My question to food is how can I begin to incorporate these things when I’ve never really dieted. How do I keep myself from trying to prove to him and others that I am becoming healthier? How do I fit in to these new paradigms? Also, how can I introduce people to these new paradigms when I’m not very articulate with when it comes to remembering definitions and statistics that will prove that these new ways of doing things are valid?
Yours truly:
Partially blind fat friend

Show Notes:

Do you have a complicated relationship with food? I want to help! Send your Dear Food letter to LoveFoodPodcast@gmail.com. 

Click here to leave me a review in iTunes and subscribe. This type of kindness helps the show continue!